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View Full Version : Really curious to know - Asian women with white men



MrSpice
October 8th, 2007, 11:34 PM
I have been noticing larger and larger number of mixed couples - usually in their 20s or 30s - where the woman is Asian and the man is white. Here on Upper East Side, there's clearly an increasing number of such couples.

The reverse situation is rare - you would hardly see Asian men with white women. I am really curious to know what is the explanation of this.

Is it that the number of women coming from the Asian countries is higher than the number of men? Or, do Asian women somehow prefer white men as dates/husbands because of some cultural considerations? Or, do Asian women are simply attracted to the men of European heritage and visa versa? Or, all of the above?

Thanks!

Ninjahedge
October 9th, 2007, 09:05 AM
I have noticed the same, and even mentioned the same somewhere else (maybe it was here) and all I got was flak. Of course, it was to diffuse and point out the extreme nature that a thread had taken, but whatever.

Yes, there is a large upswing on this. My thoughts?

Asian females are much more tolerant of a lot of things at first. They are more accomodating to what a guy wants to do in a lot of respects. Where do YOU want to go, what do YOU want to do. It is refreshing for a cauc male to have that.

Something similar goes for cauc males. They are more accomodating and respectful, up front, to the woman. What do YOU think, how do YOU feel about that. Something they do not get as much from a traditional asian male.

Now, here's the thing. It is not like this is all 100% with no flip side. Asian females seem to be more demanding on the serious side of a relationship. They expect their men to provide more without them having to ask them for it. More chores, more traditionally "manly" things. Most of the males in my in-laws family do not let the woman drive themselves anywhere. THEY drive them everywhere without question. To the grocery, their friends, even clothes shopping.

When mentioning that to my own family, or people I know, the reaction is usually similar: "Why don't they just drive themselves?". I asked that once. I never asked it again from the looks I got!!! :O

Now, caucasian males are not exactly the best either on the long term. While they have a tendency to be more caring and understanding, like I have mentioned before, they are less inclined to be what some would call chivalrous, or just plain "traditional". They may not command their women, or expect them to be the house cook, but they also do not feel it is somehow their obligation to do the dirty work all the time out of duty.

This inconsistancy on the back end makes it more difficult for the long term relationships.



All in all though, that initial difference in culture makes for a smoother fit. Guys AND women get the attension they feel they are lacking from their own culture right up front. Sad part is, neither side feels like doing the extra on the back end to close the gap.

OTOH, that back end difference may not be as great as the typical cultural differences between men and women even in the same culture. It just takes a bit more time to get used to something you have not really seen in your own experience...


Final note. These are just generalizations, with each asian culture having its own differences. "Asian" encompasses a lot, and the reaction you get from a Japanese woman is MUCH different than Chinese or Korean. Some are even insulted if you confuse them. So take it for what it is worth. There are some base commonalities in regards to culture and conduct when it comes to the Asian society, but once you get down to specifics and individuals, YMMV!!!!

MrSpice
October 25th, 2007, 11:25 PM
When I walk around New York, it seems like there are more and more couples like that. I am curious what do the Asian men do? I would think a lot of them would be single since I rarely see Asian men with non-Asian women. It's a puzzle :)

WebErr
October 26th, 2007, 06:42 AM
In Russia is opposite situation.
Usually you can see Asian man and Russian woman.
May be Asians prefer American men and Russian women? :confused:

Hmm... Then we (Russian men) will come and get American women. :)

zupermaus
October 26th, 2007, 12:33 PM
In UK more East Asians and Blacks marry outside their community than within, and 1/3 for South Asians. Its interesting to compare the stereotypes, here its much more:

Black man - White woman, that is the established cliche on the streets.

but you do definitely have the
White man - East Asian woman stereotype too but less common.

Though now its coming full circle with

Black woman - E Asian man
Black man - South Asian woman

increasingly common among the new generation.

Among Brits Black guys are consistently rated higher in looks than any other race among white females when studied (surprisingly even among those who felt 'mixed relationships didnt work').
There was also an article on 'fashions new look' where the traditional blonde bombshell/ Mediterranean Adonis has been usurped by the mixed race E-Asian/anglo featured model according to the latest studies on face approval - dont know how much of that is true though because theres been no change whatsoever in the Caucasian dominated catwalks.

Gregory Tenenbaum
October 29th, 2007, 06:11 AM
This is really a funny topic. Because for centuries there have been fat balding Dutch, Portuguese and Englishmen in the Far East and China (especially Hong Kong and Singapore) really for one reason - the girls.

Usually, when I talk to a chinese american, korean american, japanese american or japanese woman, they tell me that their brothers prefer to date asian women, but they prefer to date western men, so figure that out.

Go to Hong Kong today.

Hang around Lan Kwai Fong until about 3 am

Observe.

You will see all.

There are 4 flights a day Cathay Pacific to Hong Kong - anyone want to come with me?

clockwork-orange
November 18th, 2007, 11:35 AM
I have been noticing larger and larger number of mixed couples - usually in their 20s or 30s - where the woman is Asian and the man is white. Here on Upper East Side, there's clearly an increasing number of such couples.

The reverse situation is rare - you would hardly see Asian men with white women. I am really curious to know what is the explanation of this.

Is it that the number of women coming from the Asian countries is higher than the number of men? Or, do Asian women somehow prefer white men as dates/husbands because of some cultural considerations? Or, do Asian women are simply attracted to the men of European heritage and visa versa? Or, all of the above?

Thanks!quite fancy asian women.nice when you get a pretty one.

Gregory Tenenbaum
November 18th, 2007, 01:01 PM
*With Hugh Grant accent*

Um, yeah, Hi, umm

You see I was just wondering, umm

You wouldnt happen to be English would you?

bingobango
December 6th, 2007, 09:24 AM
To be mixed is a tend. You will see more Asian men with white girls be, later.

Capn_Birdseye
December 6th, 2007, 11:37 AM
You wouldnt happen to be English would you?
:)

ThisIsntMyRealName
December 6th, 2007, 04:36 PM
Hey, just curious, what is the difference between Japanese women and chinese, Korean, etc.? I noticed you can definitely tell a bit of a difference physically (they look a bit paler).

zupermaus
December 8th, 2007, 05:37 AM
^face structure. No big deal, given enough exposure you will easily but subconsciously recognise the differences without ever being able to put a finger on it.

However the age old stereotype is Chinese have double lidded eyes (like much of the world), and Japanese tend toward 'single' lid. Koreans are an even mix of the two.
Basically with single lids the almond eye shape is more pronounced, it can make someone look more feline. Single lids are more frowned upon as its a telltale sign of ageing in the East as your skin sags (more so than lines or wrinkles), and much the target when going for plastic surgery.

(forgive the gratuitous excuse for eye candy: )

double lidded eyes
http://www.style.com/slideshows/fashionshows/F2007RTW/ANNASUI/BACKSTAGE/00240m.jpg

'single' lidded eyes

http://i4.tinypic.com/4ckdg1w.jpg

^that of course is not a rule, there are hundreds of millions of Chinese with single lids (and btw both models are Chinese)

Also Chinese are olive skinned, Japanese/Koreans lighter, among men Chinese have bigger noses (and in the south they have wide noses). Koreans have a total different set of features to either the Chinese and Japanese.

Luca
December 14th, 2007, 09:42 AM
With East Asian/European ethnically mixed couples I must say that even here the E Male / EA Female mix seems to be overwhelmingly more common than vice versa. No idea what the Oriental chaps do… Maybe, like the Russians in the post above, they can all marry American women :). That would be poetic justice.

As for other ‘mixes’, at least in middle-class London Euro/South Asian and Euro/African ethnicity mixes seem to be common in both combinations of male/female.

I think it’s a bit dangerous to make sweeping generalization about what people from a given country (let alone ethnicity..) are like, so I will eave you with the words of a former colleague on this topic (which do not necessarily represent my own view).

On the basis of “maintenance” (requirement of a steady, large, increasing cash flow) and “nagging”, his view was:

Japanese girl: high maintenance, little nagging
German girl: low maintenance, lots of nagging
US girl: high maintenance, lots of nagging

Make of that what you will

I must be lucky with my wife: low(ish) maintenance, very little nagging.

Ninjahedge
December 14th, 2007, 11:59 AM
The bad thing about generalizations is that, if they are kept general enough, they work.

The thing is, most people out there are not familiar with statistics and realize that what might be true for a group is NEVER an absolute for teh individuals comprising that group.

Certain tendencies are stronger than others (skinheads being more prone to violence) but others may be a combination of thnigs that have little to do with their most common and easily recognisable trait.

The easiest thing to bring up, as a volitile example, would be Crime and Black men (not necessarily just of African descent).

When one looks at the numbers, one sees a correlation between the two. BUT, and it is important to note this, is that there is NO DIRECT CORRELATION BETWEEN THE TWO! What happens is that a real motivator or defining characteistic, such as financial background and education, is not seen. Basic violent and Blue Collar crimes are committed by, lo and behold, Blue Collar and disadvantaged individuals.

When one ethnic group comprises that group more than another, the correlation jumps over the root cause/delimiting factor and goes right to the wrapping on the box.

So, Do Chinese and Korean immigrants work harder than the average joe? Yes. But I have also seen some lazy sods! Are Japanese women less demanding (in public)? Yes! But, I have seen ones who are very demanding and vocal in public.

The more general you get, the easier it is to progect a demographic. The individual, however, is too unstable (statistically) to predict based on the motives and trends of the group they belong to.

Hari Seldon anyone? [/literary reference]

zupermaus
December 15th, 2007, 08:01 AM
^yep if we continue Blacks as a demographic example, its interesting to note in London, Peckham with the highest amount of low income Blacks has one of the highest crime rates. In New Cross a mile away with the second highest concentration of low income Blacks has the second lowest crime rate.

Also among Blacks men earn far less in the social ladder, third from bottom. Meanwhile Black women earn far more than their White counterparts. Traditionally Caribbean children outperform almost all other races in the early years of primary school, yet fall heavily once into secondary education. Meanwhile African children, some of the cities poorest immigrants, are the best performers throughout their education with the most amount completing University degrees, and quickly becoming one of the richest within a generation.

Similarly Hindu/ Sikh South Asians earn more than Whites in general, yet Muslim South Asians are the very bottom rung.

In other words differing trends seem to pinpoint low income as a defining factor across the board rather than race, combined with institutionalised prejudice. It seems Black Caribbean men and South Asian /African Muslims, of both sexes, bear the brunt of the systematic hierarchy, despite strong indicators of potential success (ultimated stinted), and buck-the-trend examples of proper governace (as in New Cross Council's successful strategies).

However this is not a defining rule. There are indicators of backgrounds and cultures seeming to be a stem for a poor background but define themselves on country much more so than race. For example Portuguese are much more likely to be claiming benefit and living in poverty (second from bottom) despite little distinction from other minorities in the eyes of society.

I think despite all this hierarchy what saves London from racial tensions is that there isn't a single ghetto, not on race and not on economy with the rich traditionally housed with the poor in a patchwork across the city. The highest racial majority is 65 percent South Asians in Chalvey (and even then theyre made up of disparate communities based on a pletrhora of countries and religions). Foreign born is currently 50 percent (some say 60) within central London and 30 percent in outer London, combined with the highest rates of intermarriage in the West - the fastest growing racial group is 'mixed race' and intermarriage outnumbers inmarriage within all the major ethnic communities except South Asians (where its 'only' one third).

This doesnt mean the city is a racial nirvana, there are simmering tensions, race hate attacks et al, and a huge amount of institutionalised prejudice still, but to the compliment of the city's residents (rather than the govt, of which implemented many racist polices in the past), its managed to buck divisive 'multiculturalist' policies, whilst still holding onto their identities and cultures that 'melting pot' strategies water down. In short its a happy accident we are where we are.

Anyway the city's been mixed for so long, its a tradition. Only now are the rates of foreign born surpassing the previous records set in medieval times.

ocmusicgrl
December 18th, 2007, 03:16 PM
well, i'm actually an asian girl with a white man, lol. We've been together for about 4 years now. But I dont know about other asian woman, but I've been raised being the only asian in the neighborhood including my schools. So I'm pretty much a white-washed asian, lol. But my boyfriend was actually the first to approach me and he says my exotic look is the thing that attracted him to me. I think its more th white guys' move then the girls. :)

zupermaus
December 21st, 2007, 06:30 AM
complete ditto what happened with me, repeatedly come to think of it. Never really thought about it in that way.

I get complete aversion from some people though.