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View Full Version : Inappropriate Contact and Meet-Up Protocol



NoyokA
March 5th, 2008, 01:12 AM
Wired New York is an online community; many of us know members by name beyond their usernames and their lives beyond the profile. Itís easy to forget the dangers behind the internet. As Wired New York is a free website it is important to acknowledge that these dangers also exist here. It is the memberís right and the moderatorís job to help them feel comfortable and safe. If you are made to feel uncomfortable by a post or private message made by another member please forward that post or private message to a moderator. I want to emphasize that getting to know people better and outside the forum is in no way discouraged, in fact networking and friendships is one of the great things about this forum. That said if you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable itís probably best that you donít meet up with said member outside the forum. If you send a request to another member whether it be for an email, a phone number, or to arrange a meet-up and you are denied or you do not receive a response, drop the issue there. It is your right to deny or not respond. Do not post offensive or provocative material in a post or private message, if you receive something you determine offensive or provocative please notify a moderator. Do not harass. If you feel you are being harassed by another member please notify a moderator. Lastly as a bit of common sense if you are going to meet up with someone from online meet up in a public place and do not feel bad about leaving and cutting ties if you feel uncomfortable. That said happy postings and happy meetings.

The Benniest
March 5th, 2008, 01:19 AM
I like this topic, because I feel that a lot of the people on the forum are not well informed of this seeing that it happens regularly in some cases.

Wired New York is an excellent way to build a social network. One of things people have recommended me to do is to immediately start building a social network for New York .. and I have.

Like you said Stern about giving out email addresses, phone numbers or other personal information .. make sure that you know this person a little more than their first name (other than their user name). It comes in handy. ;)

Good post Stern,
Ben

Encideyamind
March 5th, 2008, 05:34 PM
Been here for six months and really don't know anyone outside my neck of the woods. :(

stache
March 5th, 2008, 11:02 PM
That's not always a bad thing. ;)

BrooklynRider
March 8th, 2008, 12:59 AM
I have received reports that certain forum members have passed along their phone numbers and made explicit sexual advances toward other members.

We have other situations where certain forum members have offered elaborate NYC runaway schemes to high school students, where they have offered their own home as a hideout / homebase.

Certainly, people can ignore these advances and the advice. All we can do is forewarn forum members that these activities can and do happen.

Fabrizio
March 8th, 2008, 05:15 AM
Whoa... I think anything as serious as a "runaway" scheme as mentioned, should be reported to the police. Not kidding.

stache
March 8th, 2008, 06:39 AM
While I agree with you Fabs, that only works when the 'victim' is under eighteen years of age. Like I said in another post, it's an issue we have been working on here at WNY.

MidtownGuy
March 8th, 2008, 01:47 PM
18? Just my 2 cents, but once someone is 18, I don't think it can even be called 'runaway', let alone kidnapping. Many of us leave home at 18 with or without the help of someone offering a crash pad where we intend to land. I think it's a pretty normal age to leave the nest. There must be something else to the story, and if not, what is this, Salem?

Meerkat
March 9th, 2008, 09:42 AM
This is good advice Stern gives.

A friend of mine met someone through a certain website a couple of years ago. He went back to this persons flat, and the next thing he can remember is finding himself in a not particularly nice area at 3 AM, when he phoned me in a panic. From 8 PM onwards he had no recollection of what happened.

The only conclusion i can come to is that he was drugged (and god knows what else after that).

A few months after that he was diagnosed with HIV - at 21 years old. He wasn't exactly living life like a monk, but it appears most likely that he caught it that evening.

I know its unlikely that anything like that would ever happen on wirednewyork, but you never know who's out there.

stache
March 9th, 2008, 07:23 PM
Yikes, that was a tough lesson to have to learn - :(

NoyokA
March 10th, 2008, 01:30 AM
What a horrible story. I feel really bad for your friend.

LeCom
March 10th, 2008, 01:41 AM
This is good advice Stern gives.

A friend of mine met someone through a certain website a couple of years ago. He went back to this persons flat, and the next thing he can remember is finding himself in a not particularly nice area at 3 AM, when he phoned me in a panic. From 8 PM onwards he had no recollection of what happened.

The only conclusion i can come to is that he was drugged (and god knows what else after that).

A few months after that he was diagnosed with HIV - at 21 years old. He wasn't exactly living life like a monk, but it appears most likely that he caught it that evening.

I know its unlikely that anything like that would ever happen on wirednewyork, but you never know who's out there.
Holy crap, that's horrible. Good post, Stern. Definitely an important issue to discuss.

antinimby
March 10th, 2008, 03:33 AM
With that said, who's interested in a fun, little late night meetup? :D

infoshare
March 10th, 2008, 09:26 AM
Yes, horrible story: talk about cautionary tales!

In addition to the photography meet-ups we have had here at WiredNY, it would be good to see some other "safe ;) activity" meet-up events, such as meeting at a chess club, or a tennis court, ect.

With the warmer weather coming, the options are many.

Meerkat
March 10th, 2008, 09:46 AM
^ This was something i was going to ask about.

I was thinking of suggesting a photo meet up one afternoon this summer for members over here. Is this an infringement of wired new york rules? I've had a look and can't find anything that states it is , but its better to check than end up banned.

ZippyTheChimp
March 10th, 2008, 10:39 AM
We have no rules as to what people do outside of this forum.

How could we?

Encideyamind
March 10th, 2008, 03:45 PM
I'd be interested in a chess club.

antinimby
March 10th, 2008, 09:53 PM
"safe ;) activity" meet-up events, such as meeting at a chess club, or a tennis court, ect.Safe is boring. We want risquť.

stache
March 10th, 2008, 11:02 PM
Not so much here.

AmeriKenArtist
March 12th, 2008, 04:56 PM
When I was in Boston, I got to know a handful of people on a local forum. I started Wicked Good Walks. We met in town at noon and meandered through the city taking photos. It was a great time with a diverse bunch of friendly folks!

After a few hours people began to fade away and just two of us were walking about, eventually taking night shots of the city!

Personally, Boston was too small. I soon was tired of the usual walks with urban density.

That evolved in to getting tours of transit yards, etc.

Then a few of us guys with adolescent minds began a goal of getting to the top of every skyscraper. Federal buildings were difficult. We were "nabbed" before we made it to the top! This was pre-911. After 9-11, I was taken off subway cars for photographing. Fortunately I wore an approved permit around my neck. Passengers weren't happy with the delays.

Just taking a pic in a station caused shutdowns and transit police escorted me to the street. I hope some kind of common sense prevails up there now. After all, hundreds of tourists are snapping away daily.

A photoshoot walk with a group is a great, positive way to spend a day!