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Kris
January 10th, 2004, 10:51 PM
January 11, 2004

The Emerald City

By STEVE KURUTZ

http://graphics7.nytimes.com/images/2004/01/11/nyregion/feat.xlarge.jpg
Dave Asaro-Berman, center, and his friends flee the New Jersey suburbs for Manhattan as often as they can.

ON a recent cold and windy Saturday afternoon, Dave Asaro-Berman, flanked by his friends, emerged from the PATH station at 33rd Street and the Avenue of the Americas, took a gulp of city air and marched toward Times Square.

Inquisitive and a bit theatrical, Dave led the group of four boys and one girl, all of them teenagers from northern New Jersey. Each one had paid the $3.95 to take the 1:49 train from their hometown, Fair Lawn, to Hoboken, where they switched to a PATH train and were delivered from suburban tranquillity to Midtown bustle.

Asked what they might normally be doing had they stayed in Fair Lawn, Dave rolled his eyes. "There's a 24-hour CVS pharmacy, and we hang out there," he said. "We call it Club C. That's how sad our lives are."

One boy, a soft-cheeked 16-year-old named Jon Brandwein, had campaigned with his parents for days to be allowed to go. "My father's a chiropractor in SoHo," Jon said, "and he knows the crazy things that go on in the city."

As the group neared the neon glow of 42nd Street, Dave, who is 16 with an unruly goatee and hair held aloft by gel, paused. "That's new," he said, pointing to a giant flashing video screen. The epic scale of the billboard and the pulsing energy of Times Square seemed to suffuse him.

"No matter where you are or what time of day," he said, "there's always something to do in New York."

Venturing into Manhattan and hanging around Times Square, Central Park or the Village is a rite of passage shared by many suburban kids. But to be a teenager growing up in the Garden State is to have an especially complex relationship with New York. It is to be close enough to feel the city's big beat, but to be far enough removed to feel its absence from your own life; to be familiar with the otherworldly skyline and regal avenues, but still to be an out-of-towner; to crave New York's bottomless well of excitement, but to fear its dangers.

Last Oct. 7, a teenage couple from New Jersey were killed in a car wreck on the West Side Highway. The girl attended Fair Lawn High School, which Dave and his friends attend. Five days later, a 19-year-old Connecticut college student from Byram Township, N.J., was found shot to death in Prospect Park South, Brooklyn, after a party.

There are less grave but no less daunting concerns too: navigating the transit system; rushing to catch the last bus or train home; and encountering that dreaded nemesis, the city kid. Still, for many, New York looms across the Hudson like a steel and glass Everest. "Growing up in New Jersey,'' said Tom Perrotta, a novelist who was raised in the working-class town of Garwood, 25 miles southwest of the city, "I always felt New York was there to be conquered."

A Beacon and a Rebuke

Dave Asaro-Berman would probably agree with Mr. Perrotta. Though his jeans and Abercrombie & Fitch sweater constitute a kind of uniform for the suburban teenager, he claims to be an urbanite at heart. "As far as I'm concerned," Dave likes to say, "New York is the center of the world."

He cites his bar mitzvah. The theme: New York City, complete with its landmark skyscrapers as table centerpieces - miniature Chrysler and Empire State Buildings lovingly sculptured in tinfoil by his grandmother.

But Fair Lawn, he says, is tame, predictable, static. In a word - excuse the yawn - dullsville. Fair Lawn, a borough of 30,000 in central Bergen County, has all the pedestrian qualities (to a teenager) of a classic north Jersey burg: easy access by highway exit; dotted with tidy homes; a stone's throw from five malls.

A mere eight miles to the southeast is the George Washington Bridge and, across it, The City. Yet living nearby does not necessarily foster affection. Although Dave visits several times a month, many other New Jersey teenagers have little interest in straying beyond the local malls. Dave's friends were once among that crowd. "They'd maybe been to a Broadway show once a year," he said. "I was the one who instigated the whole 'let's go into the city' thing."

His fascination was sparked by the fact that his parents once lived on Central Park West. Many residents of New York's gilded suburbs are former Upper West Siders or Park Slopers who moved away to start families but never fully gave up citizenship.

The commuter tradition, too, keeps teenagers connected. "My dad worked in New York, at Morgan Guaranty Trust Company," said the novelist Rick Moody, who spent part of his youth in Darien, Conn., later lived in Hoboken and captured some of the angst of suburban teenage life in his novel "The Ice Storm." "It gave you the feeling you were attached to the city by some umbilicus. I was fascinated with all the appurtenances of his job. I thought the subway tokens, for instance, which he kept in a dish, were really cool."

For Mr. Moody, journeying into the city was always a larger-than-life event. "It was the recognition of scale," he said. "I was endlessly fascinated with the F.D.R. and how it snaked under buildings. I had that feeling that the city is the land of 10,000 things, in distinction to the narrow house with two acres in the suburbs."

Adi Shaulov, a precocious 17-year-old from the Bergen County town of Tenafly, is typical of the teenagers who have an easy rapport with New York.

"I go into the city almost every weekend," she said. "I go shopping in SoHo or out to eat. When it comes to culture, activity and life, I always turn to the city."

Her attitude is a stark contrast to that in the working-class enclaves across the river and to the south, where the city has long been viewed not only with indifference but with fear and suspicion. Elizabeth, in Union County, is just a few minutes from New York, but it feels as if it were on the other side of the country.

For those, like Mr. Perrotta, who grew up in such places, an uneasy relationship with the city is encoded, passed down from parent to child like crooked teeth. "I grew up around people who were scared of the city," he said. "Like a lot of working-class people, my father had only contempt and dread of it."

Trips to New York by Mr. Perrotta's family were few and far between, confined to a ballgame or a trip to see the circus at Madison Square Garden. Because of that, he says, "I was more afraid of New York than people from the Midwest. For them, it was a mecca. For me, it was a beacon and also a rebuke."

No place captures that tension more powerfully than the Port Authority Bus Terminal. One of the three ways most New Jersey kids enter the city (the other two are Penn Station and the downtown PATH stops), the station, on Eighth Avenue and 42nd Street, is a cavernous maze ripe with both excitement and menace.

Mr. Perrotta can still recall the sensory shock of pulling into the station. "You could get a bus on the corner of your quiet town, across from the local pet shop," he said, "and get out at Port Authority and have guys beckoning at you: 'Hey, Jersey boy.' "

Dave and his friends were dressed down recently by a surly bus driver for trying to pay for a ride with cash instead of buying a ticket. "He yelled at us in front of everyone and kicked us off the bus," Dave said. "We weren't sure if we'd make it home." (The suburban teenager, much like Cinderella, must be mindful of time; the last bus or train out of the city usually leaves around 1 a.m. and those who miss it are stranded till morning.)

Dave and his friends were on friendlier turf this day: their first stop was the McDonald's in Times Square. With a vast city to explore, it seems an odd choice, but, like many suburban kids who visit New York, Dave and his friends stick to a few well-worn areas: Times Square, whose frenetic pace and hormonal energy, even now that the drugs and sex shops are gone, seem expressly made for teenagers; Central Park; and the commercialized bohemia of Greenwich Village, with its T-shirt shops and lenient bars. Brooklyn and Queens might as well be Mars and Venus.

This is due partly to the fear of being an outsider. But it's also a result of being mesmerized by anything and everything - one way to pick a suburban teenager out of an urban crowd is to watch for a swiveling neck and dilating pupils.

At one point, for example, the group trekked to the Great Lawn to play hacky sack (alas, no one had remembered to bring the actual sack). They could have easily hacked the sack in the parking lot of Club C, but instead, they were standing in Central Park. The city, in other words, has the power to elevate the most mundane endeavor into a momentous occasion. As Dave put it: "There's so much going on here. Even if you're not part of it."

'Laser Show'

For some, the city's pull is so strong that they will defy their parents to get here. Many younger teenagers, especially girls, aren't allowed to go into the city on their own, and so one of the great shared traditions among suburban kids is sneaking into New York via the feigned slumber party or skipping school.

One of Dave's friends, Lindsay Bright, laughed as she recalled a girlfriend who concocts a variety of ruses to visit the city. "She'll call her mom and say, 'Yeah, we're over at so-and-so's house,' " Lindsay said. "Meanwhile, we're at Starbucks in Union Square."

Adi Shaulov has stories, too. "There was a club on 56th Street called Exit that had a teen night and my parents forbade me to go," she said. "Of course, I went anyway. There were five girls, and one of the mothers drove us in." The girl who said her mother would pick up Adi and her friends, however, had lied. "We stayed out really late and had to pay a cabby a lot of money to take us back to New Jersey," she said ruefully. "We thought we were so adult."

Most New Jersey kids who build a nascent life in New York are similar: the intellectually curious whose tastes run more toward the Met than to the mall; the ones who find the suburbs too boring and confining; the higher class of delinquent who favors the city's edgier thrills. Not surprisingly, there exists, among them, a shared culture of people, places, experiences.

Adam Schlesinger, co-founder of the rock band Fountains of Wayne, writes songs that capture the suburban view of the city with great accuracy - waiting, drunk, at the Port Authority; falling in love with a fast girl from Queens. One song, "Laser Show," sends up a classic teen ritual: "They come from Bridgeport, Westport, Darien/ Down to the Hayden Planetarium/ We're gonna space out to our favorite tunes/ We're going straight to the dark side of the moon."

"You used to hear ads for the laser show all the time on the radio," said Mr. Schlesinger, who grew up in Montclair, N.J., 12 miles west of the city, and named the band after a lawn ornament store in nearby Wayne. "It was a New York destination."

Mr. Schlesinger's songs are also born from what may be the most widely shared trait among New Jersey kids, a sort of suburban inferiority complex. "In high school I felt vaguely inadequate when I was in New York," he said. "In my perception, the city kids had a certain attitude that was based on nothing more than being raised there."

Mr. Moody, too, recalls how advanced city kids seemed. "They made me feel so uncool," he said. "They all knew the guys you bought dope from in Central Park. And they knew the places to go at night, like the Peppermint Lounge. They had worldly connections."

The image of suburban kid as sacrificial lamb is an enduring one. The city isn't nearly as crime-riddled as it was in past decades, but there are still news reports of suburban kids getting mugged, arrested and even murdered.

And humiliated. Mr. Moody recalls his first unchaperoned trip to New York and the fiasco that followed. "My parents gave me an incredibly romantic lecture about Grand Central station and how I should look up at the constellations," Mr. Moody said. "I went in and saw a prep school friend and felt so adult. While I was waiting for my return train, I was accosted by a Hare Krishna. Within seconds he swindled me out of $10. I got on the train and thought, 'Oh, my God, I'm a suburban loser.' "

Little has changed since. Dave spoke often of his fascination with flash mobs. "They're so cool!" he said, referring to a Dadaist moment that erupted last summer and has long been passé. Adi admits to being flat-out jealous of city dwellers. "I feel like I don't want to be from New Jersey," she said.

However often a suburban kid visits the city, the initial awe and wonder at the scale and complexity of New York may never be lost. Neither is the feeling that one is still, essentially, from New Jersey. "I was doing a book reading in the city a few years ago," Mr. Perrotta said, "and I saw an old girlfriend that I hadn't heard from in 20 years. She was living in the city and looked very much like a New York woman - dressed in black, very chic. I was startled that one of us could go over to the other side."

Spectators at the Circus

As it turned out, Jon Brandwein's parents had little to worry about in their son's foray into New York that Saturday. The group's afternoon in the city had a wholesome, vaguely Richie Cunningham quality, as if sex, drugs and contempt for anyone over 30 had miraculously passed them by.

After watching the skaters circle Wollman Rink in Central Park and recovering from the great hacky sack misadventure, the group made its way to F. A. O. Schwarz, of all places, soaking in all of New York's visual riches. "I love looking at the nice cars at the Plaza," Dave said as he passed the hotel.

Only one boy in the group, Yev Feinstein, owns a car, but everyone was auto focused. "Look," one of them, Anton Brett, said. "A stretch Hummer limousine!"

There was equal astonishment at the prices of the toys inside F. A. O. Schwarz, like $500 for a chess set, and of the food at Maxie's, a touristy restaurant near Times Square that charges $19.95 for a chicken sandwich with fries.

But as the little group ambled toward the blinking lights and rattling noises of the ESPN Zone arcade in Times Square, no one tried to plumb the depths of New York or make contact with native New Yorkers. Rather, the group seemed to float along the city's surface currents, dipping toes in here and there, then moving on. Just being a spectator to New York's 24-hour circus seemed to be enough.

Heading to the Port Authority, that anteroom to the suburbs, Dave summed up the group's feelings. "You know," he said, "I almost don't want to go back to New Jersey."

Copyright 2004 The New York Times Company

North2South
January 18th, 2004, 11:58 PM
Hey I really liked that article! Thanks for posting. I think the same is definitely true for kids out here on Long Island too, though. Everybody out here knows about "don't change at Jamaica" and all that. New York is seen as the big bad city here, too IMO. Interesting indeed.

STT757
January 19th, 2004, 12:17 PM
Growing up In New Jersey when we were in high school we would go into Manhattan on the North Jersey Coast line trains on the weekends, we could walk into any conveinance store in Manhattan and buy beer..

We would walk around drinking "40s" like we owned the place, Washington Square park was always a trip.

Sometimes homeless guys would start following us as soon as we got out of Penn Station, grubbing cigarettes and hoping we would buy them beer, it was always an adventure trying to ditch them.

We also spent alot of time going to clubs, Limelight, Club USA, Nasa etc..
Saw lots of celebrities at Club USA, they had this 4 story slide that you went down in a patato sack ! Awesome time for a 17 year old from NJ, they never checked id. (back then).

This was the Early '90s, things changed alot when Giulianni became Mayor. We would always go to New Years eve in Times Square, the two years we went when Dinkins was still Mayor we would go from store to store buying beer and drinking it in the public. The year Giulianni became Mayor we went and waiting for us outside every store was an Under cover cop who would make us spill out our beer, I didn't get too drunk that night!

The City is not the same place it was when I was in high school, it's WAY more tame. Which is good and bad, depending on how you look at it.

debris
January 19th, 2004, 06:18 PM
This is the hope for NYC in the future. You know, in the nineties when the internet emerged, so many people said that jobs would flee to the suburbs, because location wouldn't matter anymore. Nobody thought about the fact that these jobs wouldn't need to be in the suburbs, either. In fact, the jobs you *can* do at home (mostly IT jobs) are being outsourced to India as we speak. But hey, most people need a boss looking over their shoulder...

In the future many professional jobs will locate where people want to live, whereas the historical relationship was vice versa. Companies no longer choose New York because of its port, or because people actually need to be squeezed in together on a small island(s), but because a highly educated region of people (20 million) have decided to live within a 1 hour commute of Manhattan. New York (or San Francisco, Chicago, Seattle etc.) will never compete on price: taxes, land, salaries will always be higher than the burbs. But investment banking analysts are simply not going to live in Kentucky; they usually throw a fit when they have to move to Jersey City!

That's why this is so important. Like so many of you (admit it), I grew up in the Jersey burbs and came to New York because I love the city. I wouldn't leave if you doubled my salary for somewhere else (wellll....). And that's what ultimately counts. That's why the schools, subways, crime, affordable *and* luxury housing, etc. need to be working. Enamored kids from Bergen county are the future. If they think that sacrificing a large house in Millburn for a studio in New York is worth it, then the jobs will come to them.

That also why I'm so confused to see Jersey City-Manhattan flames break out on this board every so often. What a lack of vision! Same for the pols. The region lives and dies together.

Pottebaum
January 19th, 2004, 08:55 PM
Good points, debris!

There is a good chance that I may become interested in investment banking, and I sure don't want to be sent out to the suburbs, not that there is a good chance of that happening.

Kris
January 25th, 2004, 04:54 AM
January 25, 2004

LETTERS

Starry-Eyed Visitors, Brave and Scared

To the Editor:

Your article "The Emerald City'' (Jan. 11) captures perfectly the ambiguity that I, a lifelong New Jersey resident, have always felt toward New York. The feeling is never stronger than it is the moment the DeCamp bus pulls out of the tunnel and I am transported into another universe, so vastly different from the suburban landscape of Essex County.

I applaud the teen-agers mentioned in the article for their bravery, and I empathize with their fears. To this day I feel that I am dressed inappropriately every time I go into New York, especially downtown. But I keep going.

Joli Furnari
Bloomfield, N.J.

To the Editor:

Readers of your article might think that every suburban high school student who visits New York has Times Square in mind.

Not true. I travel around the city. This lets me see contrast between the cobblestone East River promenade at 86th Street and the fenced-off, weed-strewn walkway in East River Park. Such a view has taught me more about the realities of life than Fair Lawn, N.J., ever could.

And it's invigorating to escape to the Metropolitan Museum of Art or punk concerts on the Lower East Side.

For now, I plan on leaving Times Square to my friends. But we still have one thing in common: the sublime feeling of freedom you get when stepping off the bus at the last stop, Port Authority.

Alex Oster
Fair Lawn, N.J.

To the Editor:

Fair Lawn, and any suburban New Jersey town, could be considered Dullsville. We don't have glamorous billboards or Broadway shows in our backyards. I've been through that whole "NYC = Cool'' phase.

But even though New York may be the Emerald City, most of us, like Dorothy, learn over time to appreciate our home. Tame, static, predictable, simple, quiet, peaceful home.

Grace Yan
Fair Lawn, N.J.

To the Editor:

Urban legends begin with statements like yours about Elizabeth, N.J: "Just a few minutes from New York, but it feels as if it were on the other side of the country.''

Elizabeth has magnet schools where elementary school students can study Chinese and Russian. It also has a nationally acclaimed yeshiva elementary and high school system known as the Jewish Educational Center. It has excellent Catholic schools and a richly varied population attracted to these schools. It has many Cuban professionals who came after the revolution, along with Portuguese residents who are building up the port neighborhood, and faculty members from Kean University.

I lived for 28 years in Elizabeth, a place that is emblematic of the whole country.

Rivkah Blau
Washington Heights

To the Editor:

This article was of particular interest to me, having raised my two children in a New Jersey suburb, Ridgewood.

I am an urban creature through and through. Children in suburbia seem to be so bored with the nothingness of it all. They must be driven everywhere, which takes away their independence. They usually don't even walk to school.

Some young adults seem to be captivitated by the "sleaze'' of the city, especially if they're living in an upper-class "white ghetto.'' If they're exposed to a more diverse community I suspect they won't be as captivated with the sleaze, simply because on a day-to-day basis they will see diversity and realize that sleaze is not the only thing in the city. The city has everything, both intellectually and creatively.

Virginia Overholser
Paterson, N.J.

E-mail: thecity@nytimes.com

Copyright 2004 The New York Times Company

Ninjahedge
January 28th, 2004, 06:14 PM
Interesting.

I was born in Bergenfield (Valley hospital actually) moved to Oakland early on, then moved into Hoboken after College.

I am a jersey Boy for sure, but the strange thing is, I guess I don't look it anymore.

Or maybe I just look like a less scary New Yorker that knows where the hell he is (I do most of the time, but ask me directions and I might not be that much help). People come up to me all the time, despite my lack of knowledge, and ask me how to get to places.

I like the city. I think it is one of the best places to visit, to have fun in, but being raised as a suburban kid, I also miss some of the simple suburban amenities that I can appreciate now more as an adult than I could as a kid living with his parents.

First off if privacy. You don't have someone right next door that says gesundheit to you through the wall when you sneeze. You don't live so close to everyone else that 100 people know when you are there or not, but nobody knows your name. Maybe Hoboken is worse with that, the clique thing, but I don't know.

Another thing is just plain space. I am not looking for a palace, but I am tired of being able to change the TV channel with my toe if I can't find the remote. I don't want to invite people over and have them sit on my hastily made bed because my "living room" only fits 3 people. A happy medium would make me, well, happy.

Another is COST. Everything from shoelaces to automobiles cost SO much in the city, but we all know this by now.

I think the one thing that is both the root cause of all these problems, but also the very thing that brings NY to the head of the list when it comes to one of a kind is it's many MANY people.

The same people that are all crammed up living on top of each other make it possible for venues as divergent as Lincoln Center and CBGB's to both survive here. They also make it so that the city is able to bring a few gems out of all the poop that comes through the city.

I, for one, cannot STAND times square. I always get the feeling that it was made for people NOT living in, or around, the area. I don't think NYC when I see that. I think, well, Times Square!!! ;)

As for the diamonds, the article seems to point out why so many of these kids are coming here. I remember the guys from the High School I went to complaining about having nothing to do in Upper Saddle River. They only had one convenience store, Elmers, in the entire rich town.

Now NYC has so much more. But for every good place to visit, I can probably point out half a dozen, within throwing distance, that are not worth the time, money or the aggravation. You get so so much here, some just happens to be good.

So I don't know. I am starting to ramble, as usual (sorry), but I guess I am just worried now. I am spoiled on both. I love NYC and I hate it. I am still looking for that oasis of perfection that I can find somewhere here or nearby that will still allow me the easy access to such great variety, but not at the expense of my day to day sanity....

Emma06
January 8th, 2006, 10:58 AM
I enjoyed that article. Thanks for bringing it over.......I always thought, though, that New York was relatively cheap, from what i had heard.. But from your post above I see that its not satisfactory.

Let's just say in comparison, to live here in Dublin, Ireland is more expensive than to live in New York.

deezee
January 8th, 2006, 12:54 PM
That also why I'm so confused to see Jersey City-Manhattan flames break out on this board every so often. What a lack of vision! Same for the pols. The region lives and dies together.

you are so right debris. as someone who seems to be considerably older, i just wanted to say that this will probably go on forever. it was that way when i was a kid and it'll probably be that way 20 years from.

here's a long ago example of another crew of jersey boys coming into the big city. the graffitti on the wall (it said "five towns" a long island reference) had us all pissed off as it was done by some kids from long island on one of OUR walls..the cafe wha? in the village. the writing wasn't done by the guys in the picture but we tended to hate the other kids who came into our neighborhood and hung out. but you get older and you supposedly learn what you've so wisely voiced. we all have to get along. btw.... i would LOVE for this crew to come back to my neighborhood. the second guy from the right leaning on the wall is bruce springsteen. his band was playing the cafe wha? when this picture was taken and he was 18 years old.
http://pic5.picturetrail.com/VOL83/528604/4076882/65114753.jpg

lofter1
January 8th, 2006, 07:58 PM
Bruce should come back and recreate this shot ^^^ with these same guys ...

manchesterexport
January 9th, 2006, 07:37 AM
Thats an iconic picture there! You know, alot of teengagers over here in England dont have aspirations of going to LONDON never mind NYC! Me, nowhere is too far! Ill get to your fine city one day. :p

deezee
January 9th, 2006, 11:08 AM
Bruce should come back and recreate this shot ^^^ with these same guys ...

as my grandmother would have said "from your mouth to god's ear..."
unfortunately the drummer was killed in vietnam.

lofter1
January 9th, 2006, 02:57 PM
hmmmm...

what year was the pic taken?

ryan
January 9th, 2006, 03:42 PM
I enjoyed that article. Thanks for bringing it over.......I always thought, though, that New York was relatively cheap, from what i had heard.. But from your post above I see that its not satisfactory.

Let's just say in comparison, to live here in Dublin, Ireland is more expensive than to live in New York.

I read that Dublin has the highest cost of housing in Europe, though when I was there a few months back the prices seemed significantly cheaper than NYC (especially for hotels) even with the unfavorable exchange. I think that relative salaries are higher in NYC than in Dublin - I saw ads for jobs paying 17K Euros, and most jobs in NYC pay more than $17k. In general it is difficult to compare the cost of living country to country b/c of the difference in services provided by the respective governments (like we have to pay our own healthcare - or work for a company that does) and the taxes are quite different.

deezee
January 10th, 2006, 12:38 PM
hmmmm...

what year was the pic taken?

it was the winter of 1967/1968

JCMAN320
January 16th, 2006, 12:21 AM
Being from Jersey City I can't even begin to even relate to this article. Never really drove anywhere, always took bus, taxi, PATH, Light Rail, etc... Always walked to the corner store to get the paper and hang out with friends. Growing up I always felt apart of NYC even though living in an entire different state and city it never felt like I lived outside of NYC because JC is no further than Brooklyn or Queens from Manhattan and seemed so much like the outer boroughs and still does more than ever.

I know I could never survive in the burbs. Stay with my relative in suburban Philly for Thanksgiving and I feel like I'm going out of my mind cus ther is nothing to do. Sry rambling just expressing my views. :)

Ninjahedge
January 17th, 2006, 10:14 AM
I know I could never survive in the burbs. Stay with my relative in suburban Philly for Thanksgiving and I feel like I'm going out of my mind cus ther is nothing to do. Sry rambling just expressing my views. :)

Aww, be quiet!

Now lets all go drive to a bar.

;)