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NewYorkYankee
September 9th, 2004, 02:02 PM
Im assuming that most of you are either in college or have been, SO, I need help on my essay, I havnt started writing it yet but I have the main ideas... which is better?...

The presidential election, I was going to describe how important this was to the countrys futre and how the candidates differ in 3 areas. The economy, human rights (Gay marraige,abortion), and terrorism. This would be a descriptive essay. If I do this one should i include what I think of things??

TERRORISM(So far Im leaning towards this one), I would discuss 3 main points (or topics) Religious Killers (How the Al Quieda thinks) (And also How I feel about them)
The struggle for Peace
And will we ever succed in the fight, or is this something that will continue to put fear in our lives?

If you have any other BETTER ideas.. feel free, tell me honestly about my ideas. Thanks for your help!

Schadenfrau
September 9th, 2004, 03:51 PM
Don't colleges generally provide a subject for the essay?

NewYorkYankee
September 9th, 2004, 07:43 PM
They say choose from these: A national,regional, or global event
An autobiography
Or a presentation of a special talent
Nothing specific

londonlawyer
September 10th, 2004, 12:59 AM
You should pick something that you're genuinely interested in and that you therefore can address with real enthusiasm. Also, it's better if it's a unique topic. The admissions people will get many, many essays about terrorism, the election, abortion, gay rights, global warming, etc. Find something unique.

Lastly, spend a lot of time on your essays; they matter quite a bit. They're probably the number 3 criterion after GPA and SAT's. Once you have something that you're very happy with in terms of content, have as many people proof read it as possible (even after using spell check and grammar check). You don't want to send something with errors in it.

Good luck!

P.S.: Where do you want to go and what do you want to study?

NewYorkYankee
September 10th, 2004, 07:14 AM
Pace University downtown, and study Finance

Schadenfrau
September 10th, 2004, 11:32 AM
I second Londonlawyer's suggestion of selecting a more personal topic. By the time the admissions board reads the 5,873 essay about September 11th, their eyes will be glazing over.

Is there anything going on in your local area that holds your interest? Have you had any extraordinary experiences in your life?

londonlawyer
September 10th, 2004, 11:48 AM
Given your interest in finance (and the location of Pace (i.e., a few blocks from The Street)), a possibly interesting topic on which there may be few submissions -- despite its immense news coverage -- is the proliferation of financial scandal across the world from Enron and World Com in the US to Ahold in Europe, etc. and the need for a new rules of accountability to protect investors and the public (beyond of course the US legislation (the Sarbanes-Oxley Act) that was enacted in the wake of Enron).

You also should tie your essay in with the college's "mission statement" which is always plastered on their admissions brochures (e.g., training educated, yet moral and ethical leaders for the next generation). It sounds like B.S., but they eat it up!

Good luck. I work by Wall St., so if you're in Pace next year, we can meet for lunch some time.

NewYorkYankee
September 10th, 2004, 01:50 PM
Given your interest in finance (and the location of Pace (i.e., a few blocks from The Street)), a possibly interesting topic on which there may be few submissions -- despite its immense news coverage -- is the proliferation of financial scandal across the world from Enron and World Com in the US to Ahold in Europe, etc. and the need for a new rules of accountability to protect investors and the public (beyond of course the US legislation (the Sarbanes-Oxley Act) that was enacted in the wake of Enron).

You also should tie your essay in with the college's "mission statement" which is always plastered on their admissions brochures (e.g., training educated, yet moral and ethical leaders for the next generation). It sounds like B.S., but they eat it up!

Good luck. I work by Wall St., so if you're in Pace next year, we can meet for lunch some time.

Sounds good, Ill hold you up to that! I was talking with a friend of mine today at school and they suggested I write about NY, I mean, I lve it, its all i talk about, so why not? I would talk about its traits as a world class city, architecture, ethnic neighborhoods etc etc... what do you think? This essay isnt supposed to be a persuasive essay is it? Like A intro paragraph, 3 supporting, and a conclusion???

NewYorkYankee
September 10th, 2004, 02:01 PM
Or how about my first trip to new york city?

NewYorkYankee
September 10th, 2004, 03:05 PM
Heres how my intro might go:
"New York City, when most Americans hear this they think of overwhelming rats, rude people, and disgusting streets. When I think of this I see beatiful esplanades, shimmering skyscrapers appearing to cut through the clouds, and and a energy that felt only in New York."

I'd make this paragraph a bit longer and have some other paragraphs speaking on the thing I see as stated above.. I like it, anyone else? London, Schaden, Zippy,TLOZ,anyone else?

Gulcrapek
September 10th, 2004, 03:17 PM
Maybe a dash after City instead of a comma? And duplicate "and"s.

londonlawyer
September 10th, 2004, 03:59 PM
Heres how my intro might go:
"New York City, when most Americans hear this they think of overwhelming rats, rude people, and disgusting streets. When I think of this I see beatiful esplanades, shimmering skyscrapers appearing to cut through the clouds, and and a energy that felt only in New York."

I'd make this paragraph a bit longer and have some other paragraphs speaking on the thing I see as stated above.. I like it, anyone else? London, Schaden, Zippy,TLOZ,anyone else?

Not good. Firstly, your love of NYC is not what they want to hear about as to why you want to attend Pace. Simply bec. you love NYC, why Pace and why not City College, Baruch, Fordham, etc.? You need to write something insightful and meaningful, yet about which you also have a real interest. It's not easy, but you need to think a lot about these essays. For me, I'd be limited to writing about Nicole Kidman, Porsches and Ferraris. Fortunately, I wrote these essays many years ago and can now focus on my true, superficial desires (i.e., women and money)!

NewYorkYankee
September 10th, 2004, 04:00 PM
Im so frustrated, I cant think of what to write about!!!

Schadenfrau
September 10th, 2004, 04:07 PM
You really need to narrow your focus and pick a much smaller topic.

londonlawyer
September 10th, 2004, 04:08 PM
Heres how my intro might go:
"New York City, when most Americans hear this they think of overwhelming rats, rude people, and disgusting streets. When I think of this I see beatiful esplanades, shimmering skyscrapers appearing to cut through the clouds, and and a energy that felt only in New York."

I'd make this paragraph a bit longer and have some other paragraphs speaking on the thing I see as stated above.. I like it, anyone else? London, Schaden, Zippy,TLOZ,anyone else?

By the way, you should rent Manhattan by Woody Allen. Your paragraph reminds me of his statements at the beginning of the film while Rhapsody In Blue is playing in the background!

NewYorkYankee
September 10th, 2004, 04:11 PM
You really need to narrow your focus and pick a much smaller topic.

Like what? My mind is literally a blank page right now!

NewYorkYankee
September 10th, 2004, 04:31 PM
OK, HOW ABOUT the time we hosted our first Japanese exchange student??? How I felt, how we learned a diffrent cultre and how he learned ours, and how this has sparked my interest to understand the ways of life and religion in other countries????

Gulcrapek
September 10th, 2004, 05:05 PM
That sounds good...

NewYorkYankee
September 10th, 2004, 05:32 PM
That sounds good...

really? :? Hmmm.... These essays are supposed to reveal character, how can I portray my charachter through this essay? Gul any ideas? you sound like a pretty smart guy.

ZippyTheChimp
September 10th, 2004, 06:38 PM
Good advice, narrow your focus.

Don't try to choose an important topic. The essay will be judged on your viewpoint, but the subject can be ordinary.

Here's an example. When I was a junior in high school, we were given an essay to write over Thanksgiving vacation. I remember the instruction, "I don't want to see a title such as The Civil War. Choose a single event." I tried for days to find something to write about, but all I really wanted to do was meet girls.

On Thanksgiving, my sister said to me, "Remember the time pop was sneaking in late, and he tripped over your bike?" I was 10 years old, and we lived in a brownstone with my grandparents. My father had warned me about leaving my bicycle on the upstairs landing. One night, he was out late with the boys, and was trying to get upstairs without waking anyone (like my mother didn't know). He crashed over the bike, began cursing, the dog in the yard started barking, and the entire household woke up.

I crafted this mundane event into a rather good story. I thought I would probably catch hell for turning in such a ridiculous paper, but it was easy to write, and better than turning in nothing.

A day later, I was handed the essay and told to read it in front of the class. I figured this was my punishment, but when I finished, the teacher said, "That's what I was looking for."

NewYorkYankee
September 10th, 2004, 07:04 PM
Hmm... so a single event that happened with the exchange student, but not the thing as a whole? I see.. Hmmm...The night we first had Japanese we cooked ourselves, NOW THAT WAS SOMETHING! LOL Im still on the fence... :?

ZippyTheChimp
September 10th, 2004, 10:02 PM
That's not what I meant. The "exchange student" topic is a good one.

As another example, if you choose terrorism as a topic, instead of broadly discussing terrorism in America, you might relate how it affects your own life. What if that exchange student was from Egypt instead of Japan?

NewYorkYankee
September 10th, 2004, 11:34 PM
SO, I SHOULD write about the exchange student, and how its made a diffrence? Am I following? :oops:

Pilaro
September 11th, 2004, 03:35 AM
Pace is private, right? If so are you using the common ap? That is a universal for private schools and may not have such odd essay questions. They usually seem to focus on more personal subjects. I am applying to NYU ED, but I haven't really begun yet so i don't know the topics for the common application this year. If Pace is public, then forget everything i just said.

NewYorkYankee
September 13th, 2004, 07:45 PM
OKAY EVERYONE! Here is my first draft of my essay, dont pay attention to spelling or gramatical errors, just the context. tell me what you think, whats good, what sucks. Thanks! :D

Growing up in rural Tennessee people do not experience much out of the ordinary, nor meet anyone new. Until one day when we were at the supermarket we happen to bump into our former 4-H club leader, Mrs. Henderson. She said that soon Japanese exchange students would be coming in for the summer and they needed a few more host families. My mother just sort of looked at her and said “Oh, I see.” Then Mrs. Henderson said, “How would you like to host one?” My mothers’ eyes got big and said “Well, I don’t know.” Although she was hesitant at first she finally came around. In only about one month we would be welcoming the biggest change we’ve ever seen. The next few weeks were full of nervous waiting and tedious planning. Soon our lives would change forever, soon we would experience something unlike ever before, but how would we react? How would we get along? Will we like him? Will he like us? The questions would soon be answered.
The morning of his arrival we were to pick him up at Tyson-McGhee airport in Knoxville. His name was Hiroki Asakawa and he came from Fukashima, Japan. Once we arrived we came face to face with uncertainty, fear, and excitement. We greeted with a firm handshake and a warm smile. The first thing that we noticed was the definite language barrier. He didn’t speak fluent English, nor did we speak any Japanese. Luckily, we were prepared with dictionaries and manuals with common phrases. The journey home was quiet and awkward; I was shy and scared of what he might say. Although the first few hours were odd, after we arrived home everything was okay.
When we arrived home we unpacked his things and showed him where he would stay. Our house wasn’t too big so we decided he and I would share my room. Of course, I was hesitant in the beginning being only ten years old and not wanting anything strange. Once we got everything unpacked we took a tour of the house and outside. He noted how everything was much different than his usual big city lifestyle. He had many questions about our farm, “Why is this grass rolled up and brown?” “The cows eat it, its hay,” I explained. He was intrigued about the animals and how they lived in such close proximity to us. Living on a farm we spent much of our time riding bicycles, climbing trees, and hiking. He seemed to enjoy being outdoors and exploring our large fields.
The best thing about this program is not only do the exchange students get to come to our country and experience a new culture, but they also bring with them their traditions and cultures for us to experience. One evening he requested that we enjoy his country’s unique cuisine and tradition. We gladly accepted, afterwards wondering what we had gotten ourselves into! We enjoyed rice and beef with noodles. Then we watched as he prepared a bowl of green tea. We all looked at each other puzzled and wondered why he only had one bowl. As he finished the tea he asked us to watch as he gave the instructions. He took the bowl in both his hands, gave a bow to us, turned the bowl three times and lifted it up for a drink. After watching his example we all gave it a try. I was the only one in my family that actually enjoyed the taste of the tea. Although it has been eight years since I had it, I still can remember what it tasted like. After this we thought he was finished, but only to find out the worst was yet to come! He brought out a little box with green sticks. We thought it was going to be candy since we had ate already. He gave us each one piece and we took a bite. We all looked at each other and swallowed out of courtesy. He later told us that it was dried seaweed! We all were disgusted, and the taste remained in our mouths for the rest of the night. After this experience my family has grown fond of oriental food, but seaweed is one thing we all avoid!
Just as quick as he came, it seemed as though it was time for his departure. He loved America and the culture that came with it. He especially loved the food, so much that he needed to buy bigger sized pants he ate so much of it! Needless to say, he took home a huge box full of candy, food, and drinks back home. We went to the airport that night and attended the farewell dinner with the other host families and students. We felt as if we were losing not only a friend, but a member of our family. Someone we had grown accustomed to, someone we enjoyed the company of. All the feelings of fear, anxiety, and awkwardness had gone. This experience not only gave us a new friend, but also taught us how to appreciate someone else’s culture, religion, and way of life. It broadened our minds, and touched our hearts. As we were preparing to leave, we all said goodbye and hugged each other. Tears were rolling down everyone’s face. This was an experience that we wouldn’t trade for anything. After the long farewell and the quiet ride back home, we all just remembered the good times we had, and how it had changed us all. We still write to Hiroki, and soon would like to visit him in Japan.

londonlawyer
September 14th, 2004, 08:58 PM
When is the application due?

Also, what is the exact question to which you're responding?

P.S.: Many New Yorkers are hypersensitive about "political correctness," and therefore, some of the admissions people might be struck by the phrase "Oriental food." I'd replace "Oriental" with Japanese. It seems like a petty issue in my opinion, but you never know who's reading your essays; therefore, you might as well protect yourself.

NewYorkYankee
September 15th, 2004, 01:46 PM
Ill def. write that down and change it! :) I turned it into my english teacher so she can read over it and check evertthing.

The early decision deadline is Dec. 1st. I do not have my application yet though, Ive e-mailed several times. Hopefully by next week Ill have it. :?

Im writing a "Autobiographical Account" essay, which was one of the options. It says at the top choose whatever topic you wish.

Thank you for your reply London

TLOZ Link5
September 16th, 2004, 12:56 AM
I had some minor problems with grammar, but your teacher will probably get them out of the way. It's well-written, though I would recommend a closing sentence better than the one you have now, as it seems to be a continuation of the thought. Sum up how the experience of your giving your home to Hiroki has changed you as a person, or your family in general. Also, my Japanese-American roomate tells me that there is no city in Japan called Fukashima, though there is a Fukushima, a ways northeast of Tokyo. If there is a city in Japan called Fukashima (likely a smaller town), then you can disregard.

Post the second draft and we'll go through it again. All of us here can tell you that a personal statement calls for a lot of revisions.

NewYorkYankee
September 16th, 2004, 01:55 PM
TLOZ thanks for your reply, as a college student I value your input.

"This experience not only gave us a new friend, but also taught us how to appreciate someone else’s culture, religion, and way of life. It broadened our minds, and touched our hearts. As we were preparing to leave, we all said goodbye and hugged each other. Tears were rolling down everyone’s face. This was an experience that we wouldn’t trade for anything. After the long farewell and the quiet ride back home, we all just remembered the good times we had, and how it had changed us all. We still write to Hiroki, and soon would like to visit him in Japan."

The part in bold is the part where I told where it changed us. should it be moved to the end?

I may be Fukushima, I was wondering about spelling :oops:

Anyways, another question for you TLOZ, I havnt got my application for Pace yet? I e-mailed them and they said "For information we'll need you complete name etc", and "It will take 7-10 business days" if it takes ten it will be here Tuesday, What should I do if I dont recieve it by then? Just apply on line? My mom is not for on line applying at all, so I dont know. Maybe Im just being too worried, Im applying for early decision at Pace so im just antsy I guess.

My english teacher handed back my paper today. Ill post the second revision today. As soon as I do that and you all say its ok, Im done with it. :)

NewYorkYankee
September 16th, 2004, 01:59 PM
Also, TLOZ, should I WRITE the essay, or print it off the comp.? Im sending the essay to all 4 colleges im applying to. Baruch, Pace, NYU, L.I.U.

NewYorkYankee
September 16th, 2004, 02:53 PM
I am not believing this!!! I was looking over my NYU application about the essay, and it says between 400 and 500 words!! MINE HAS 936!!! What am I going to do!!!! :evil:

NewYorkYankee
September 16th, 2004, 03:05 PM
WELL! I just got finished calling the undergrad offices at Pace and they said the one I have know is fine, so Thank Goodness!!! :D But the NYU person said it wayyyy too long! :evil: DARN! O well, back to the writing board.

NewYorkYankee
September 16th, 2004, 03:29 PM
Growing up in a small Tennessee town you don’t experience too much out of the ordinary. Until one spring afternoon we bumped into an old friend at the supermarket. She told us that she was now the head of a foreign exchange program, in which she would like us to take part. After hesitation we agreed. In one month our lives would be changed forever.
We were to pick up our student at McGhee Tyson airport in Knoxville. When we arrived we greeted a young man by the name of Hiroki Asakawa from Fukushima, Japan. The ride home was awkward and quiet, me being shy and scared of what he might say. Although the first few hours were strange once we arrived home everything went great.
Once we arrived home we un packed all of his luggage and showed him around. He and I were to share my room. Though I was hesitant at first of this idea, I quickly learned that having a roommate was fun. Living on a farm was much different that is usual big city lifestyle. I showed him how we passed time, playing in streams, trees, and fields. He was eager to learn about the animals and how we lived in such close proximity to them.
The best thing about this exchange program was not only did we share our culture, but they also brought theirs for us to experience. One evening he requested that we let him prepare us an authentic Japanese meal. We gladly accepted, later wondering what was to come. He prepared for us beef and rice with noodles. My family was very impressed with not only his culinary skills, but also, the taste of the meal. Afterwards he had one more surprise for us, we thought it would be dessert, since we had already eaten. He brought out small green sticks that looked like candy. When we all tasted we swallowed out of courtesy. Later to find on it was dried seaweed! My family now enjoys Japanese food, but seaweed is one thing we’ll avoid!
Just as soon as this experience started it seemed as if it were coming to an end. That night we all attended the farewell program with the other host families and students. At the end we all hugged and exchanged addresses. Tears were rolling down everyone’s faces as we departed. This was not only an experience where we made a new friend; it taught us how to appreciate someone else’s culture, religion, and way of life. It broadened our minds, and touched our hearts. An experience that we will cherish forever and never forget.


This is my essay for NYU, its only 438 words, does this one sounds ok? Again dont pay attention to grammar. TLOZ, does this one have the ending sentance my other was lacking?

TLOZ Link5
September 16th, 2004, 10:51 PM
Lesse...

Growing up in a small Tennessee town(,) you don’t experience too much out of the ordinary. Until one spring afternoon we bumped into an old friend at the supermarket. (Suggest "One spring afternoon in [year this happened], however...) She told us that she was now the head of a foreign exchange program (where), in which she would like us to take part. After (some?) hesitation(,) we agreed. In one month(,) our lives would be changed forever. (How?)

We were to pick up our student at McGhee Tyson airport in Knoxville. When we arrived(,) we greeted a young man by the name of Hiroki Asakawa from Fukushima, Japan. The ride home was awkward and quiet, me being shy and scared of what he might say. Although the first few hours were strange once we arrived home(,) everything (eventually?) went (well). (How was it strange? Elaborate a little bit more.)

Once we arrived home(,) we (helped unpack Hiroki's) luggage and showed him around (our farm?). He and I were to share my room. Though I was hesitant at first of this idea (because I wasn't accustomed to rooming with another person), I quickly learned that having a roommate was fun. Living on a farm was much different (for Hiroki than his urban) lifestyle. I showed him how we passed time, (for example, by) playing in streams, trees, and fields. He was eager to learn about the animals (on and off the farm) and how we lived in such close proximity to them.

The best thing about this exchange program was not only did we share our culture, but (Hiroki) also brought (his) for us to experience. One evening he requested that we let him prepare us an authentic Japanese meal. We gladly accepted, later wondering what was to come. He prepared for us beef and rice with noodles. My family was very impressed with not only his culinary skills, but also the taste of the meal. Afterwards he had one more surprise for us(;) we thought it would be dessert, since we had already eaten. He brought out small green sticks (which) looked like candy. When we all tasted we swallowed out of courtesy (— to find out later on that Hiroki had served us) dried seaweed! My family now enjoys Japanese food, but seaweed is one thing (we always) avoid!

Just as soon as this experience started(,) it seemed as if it were coming to an end. (Hiroki stayed for...) (On the night of the farewell program with the other host families before our exchange students were to leave,) we all hugged and exchanged addresses. (We still keep in contact with Hiroki by mail and phone.) (When we drove Hiroki back to the airport to send him back to Fukushima, t)ears were rolling down everyone’s faces as we (parted ways). (Make transition between the departure and how this experience was rewarding.) This was not only an experience where we made a new friend; it taught us how to appreciate someone else’s culture, religion, and way of life (when otherwise we might not have?). It broadened our minds and touched our hearts(, and was) an experience that we will (cherish forever and never forget -- pick one because using both is redundant.).

----------------

It's good, but a few edits will not hurt at all. Those are just some suggestions.

YesIsaidYesIwillYes
September 19th, 2004, 05:37 PM
ILUVNYC-

After reading this thread I can't but help acknowledge the startling similarities between you and me. I grew up and lived in Michigan when I applied to both NYU and Pace. I wanted to get out of the rural midwest and experience the city. New York was a passion of mine and I ended up getting rejected by NYU but accepted by Pace. I also studied Finance.

It was a whole new world for me - and kinda scary at the same time. I was 600 miles from home and didn't know anybody in the city. Given Pace's proximity to the World Trade Center, I had a wonderful part time job at Borders Books and Music (which of course is now destroyed). Luckily I met many friends there and also from my dorm. It was just walking distance from Maria's Tower, where you'll be staying if you gain acceptance to Pace. I believe all Freshman have to stay there.

My college essay was about a film I loved, called 'Crumb'. I sought help from my English teacher as well and he had it looking pretty damn good. Just write about your passions.

I left Pace after two years though. I transferred back home to Michigan State because of some health issues which are fine now.

I hope you will keep me updated. You remind me of myself 5 years ago. Best of luck.

NewYorkYankee
September 19th, 2004, 07:36 PM
WOW! I NEVER KNEW I HAD A TWIN!!! :D So, any plans to come back to NYC? Im so excited!!! I believe Ill get rejected to NYU too but accepted to Pace!! Wow! I cant believe this, its odd! :D Do you have an e-mail address?

NewYorkYankee
September 19th, 2004, 07:37 PM
Oh yeah, How was Pace's finance classes? How was Pace at all?

YesIsaidYesIwillYes
September 19th, 2004, 09:13 PM
Yes, I'm always planning to come back to NY. That city has a stranglehold on me. When I'm there, sometimes I get exhausted and want my peace and quiet in the Midwest. But whenever I come back to Michigan, I'm aching to go back. It's a most fantastic place, New York is.

My finance classes at Pace bored me to tears. I switched to a major of English Literature, and recently graduated from Michigan State. To be honest, I despised that world of Wall Street and pomposity. The kids in my class were intellectually uncurious about anything except $$$ and were awfully arrogant. I personally found Pace to be largely comprised of Russian immigrants looking to make it big in the Stock market. It got old for me - everybody seemed money hungry. But I still love Pace and am sure you will too. I did meet some great guys too.

my e-mail is pacebm@hotmail.com if you have some questions about your potentially future school. And let me remind you, the only reason I went to Pace was its location. And a wonderful location it is.

Eugenius
September 21st, 2004, 03:50 PM
I think that anywhere you study Finance, you'll find Russian immigrants looking to make it big in the stock market (this coming from a Russian immigrant who studied finance at NYU to make it big in the stock market), and that's not necessarily bad. It all depends on the level of your ambition, and your luck at finding just the right people to hang out with. As for your essay, try to make it more personal - focus on your feelings about the experience. From the start, I was wondering who "we" was - only later does it become more obvious that that is your family.

More examples of clash of cultures would be nice - you could draw a nice parallel between that experience with the exchange student and your hoped for experience in New York, which is the mother of all culture clashes.

NewYorkYankee
October 1st, 2004, 10:25 PM
Hey TLOZ, can I send in my high school transcript with my application (Jn the same envelope) or have the school fax it to them themselves? What grade are you BTW? :?:

TLOZ Link5
October 2nd, 2004, 03:33 PM
Hey TLOZ, can I send in my high school transcript with my application (Jn the same envelope) or have the school fax it to them themselves? What grade are you BTW? :?:

Generally, the high school transcript is left to your school to send. It might be different with you. I'm in sophomore year of college.

Pilaro
October 2nd, 2004, 04:20 PM
I agree with Eugenius, you need to develop more of a culture clash, or something. I am writting college essays now too and I have learned that it would be a mistake to write an essay solely on an experience in which you had to adjust to something different (cultures for example). First the adujustment essay is very common, and secondly everwhere you go or everything do is going to require some adjustment. The best parts of your essay are the personal anecdotes (seaweed) and the statement about what you learned. These are essential to being remembered in a large applicant pool. Dialogue is nice too. Background information is good, but can be overwhelming if you include too much- the trick is not to include the background until the reader wants to hear it. The best thing you could do is nicely incorporate a paragraph into the essay about the japanese kid and what he taught you about living in a foreign land, you will be doing this in one year. Maybe not that exact paragraph but something extra do make you different.

I hope these basic guidlines for college essays are helpful to you, i know they helped me. Keep working on it, but your essay is already better than most :wink: . Good Luck.

NewYorkYankee
October 2nd, 2004, 08:50 PM
Thanks Pilaro, Ill keep those in mind :) Hey TLOZ, another question (sorry), My parents dont want to spend a fortune of fee's, so they said I can apply to Pace now and wait for my letter and then see what happens, if this ok? I plan to send in my application Monday, and Im early decision, when should I get a reply?

TLOZ Link5
October 3rd, 2004, 03:19 PM
Early decision responses are generally mailed or received in mid-December. If you think that everything is set, then by all means send it out.

NewYorkYankee
October 3rd, 2004, 05:15 PM
you mean Ill have to wait alll the way until dec!!! :?

TLOZ Link5
October 3rd, 2004, 10:23 PM
you mean Ill have to wait alll the way until dec!!! :?

That's when you'll find out if you've been accepted. You can send your application anytime you want.

NewYorkYankee
October 4th, 2004, 03:31 PM
I mailed my applications in today!! :D Hopefully Ill hear that they recieved them within the next week! :D Im excited and yet very nervous about non acceptance!

Gulcrapek
October 4th, 2004, 03:36 PM
Good luck, next year in New York...

NewYorkYankee
October 4th, 2004, 04:11 PM
Good luck, next year in New York...

I can hardly wait!!! :D :D :D :D

TLOZ Link5
October 4th, 2004, 09:11 PM
Good luck.

NewYorkYankee
October 5th, 2004, 01:56 PM
Good luck.

Thank you! :D I gave out the envelopes today for my teachers to mail in their recommendations, all I have left is my transcript and ACT scores...phew...almost done, then the worst part comes...WAITING! :)

NewYorkYankee
October 5th, 2004, 07:55 PM
Im guessing that Time Out NY is more for people in Soho and Tribeca etc, and NY Magazine is more for people in the UES and UWS, am I right nor way off in left field?

TLOZ Link5
October 6th, 2004, 01:54 AM
That's a pretty good guess, actually.

BrooklynRider
October 6th, 2004, 09:16 AM
Good Luck, ILUVNYC! You certainly seem destined for residency here in NYC.

Schadenfrau
October 6th, 2004, 11:40 AM
Time Out NY is generally read by college kids and people looking for a cheap good time. New York magazine is more of a local news magazine and has fewer event listings.

NewYorkYankee
October 6th, 2004, 01:53 PM
Good Luck, ILUVNYC! You certainly seem destined for residency here in NYC.

Thanks! I love those kind of replies! :-D

"TLOZ That's a pretty good guess, actually. "

Why thank you :) maybe I am getting the hang of this :)

NewYorkYankee
October 6th, 2004, 02:11 PM
Does anyone here read either TONY or NY Magazine?

BrooklynRider
October 6th, 2004, 02:56 PM
I get TONY.

TLOZ Link5
October 6th, 2004, 03:13 PM
My family subscribes to NY Magazine, but I buy TONY off the newsstands once in a while.

Schadenfrau
October 6th, 2004, 04:00 PM
I read Time Out NY years ago, but in the old age of my late 20s, I have turned to New York magazine.

Time Out has become increasingly oriented towards service journalism and entertainment. New York, on the other hand, has started to focus on extensive coverage of local stories that the dailies aren't able to provide. Adam Moss has done a really great job since taking over; New York's stories on Joel Steinberg, Ron Galotti and quite a few other subjects have been superb.

NewYorkYankee
October 6th, 2004, 04:10 PM
My family subscribes to NY Magazine, but I buy TONY off the newsstands once in a while.

Oh, I didnt know that your family lived in NY, I thought you moved to the city for the same reason im coming, college. :lol:

TLOZ Link5
October 6th, 2004, 06:56 PM
Nope. Born and raised. 8)

NewYorkYankee
December 2nd, 2004, 05:53 PM
Well...It shouldnt be long now until I get my letter...hopefully. Im getting really antsy. I hope I make it in! :lol:

Gulcrapek
December 2nd, 2004, 08:13 PM
I'm writing an essay for CUNY Honors now. If I get in, I'll probably attend (CCNY campus).

NewYorkYankee
December 2nd, 2004, 08:34 PM
Good Luck Gul, your starting college when I am correct? I thought you were headed to St. Louis?

Gulcrapek
December 2nd, 2004, 08:48 PM
Yeah.. I still have to see what I get into.

TLOZ Link5
December 2nd, 2004, 11:18 PM
Good luck to both of you!

NewYorkYankee
December 3rd, 2004, 01:57 PM
Thank you :D

NewYorkYankee
December 27th, 2004, 08:03 PM
Guess what everyone! I got my acceptance letter from Pace University today! WOOOO HOOOO! Im so excited, I nearly cried! Thanks guys for all your help and best wishes! New York bound in less than a year! YESS!!!

Gulcrapek
December 27th, 2004, 08:11 PM
:D :lol: :D

Derek2k3
December 28th, 2004, 12:01 AM
Great news.

londonlawyer
December 28th, 2004, 09:20 AM
Guess what everyone! I got my acceptance letter from Pace University today! WOOOO HOOOO! Im so excited, I nearly cried! Thanks guys for all your help and best wishes! New York bound in less than a year! YESS!!!

Congratulations! That's fantastic.

Schadenfrau
December 28th, 2004, 11:10 AM
Congratulations. Moving to New York for college was probably the best decision I've ever made. You'll love it.

TLOZ Link5
December 28th, 2004, 03:16 PM
Congratulations!

fioco
December 28th, 2004, 03:52 PM
Congratulations!

BrooklynRider
December 29th, 2004, 12:50 PM
Hey ILUVNYC-

You let us know how badly you wanted to come to NYC. It is very satisfying to see someone's wish come true. Congratulations! You're going to make a fine New Yorker!

Cheers!

NewYorkYankee
December 31st, 2004, 06:03 PM
Thank you all! My wish is coming true! :D

londonlawyer
December 31st, 2004, 07:02 PM
Hey ILUVNYC-

You let us know how badly you wanted to come to NYC. It is very satisfying to see someone's wish come true. Congratulations! You're going to make a fine New Yorker!

Cheers!

I agree. Perhaps you'll become mayor one day like Bloomberg who came here from Massachusetts, became a billionnaire and then mayor!

NewYorkYankee
December 31st, 2004, 07:13 PM
Sounds good! <grin>

NewYorkYankee
February 12th, 2005, 12:06 PM
Hey everyone, I got my housing application today! :) Im getting very excited! I hung a picture of downtown up next to my bedroom door that I got in NY. Now everytime I walk out I look at it and say, "One step closer to my dream." :) :) :)

cphdude
February 12th, 2005, 01:10 PM
Hey everyone, I got my housing application today! :) Im getting very excited! I hung a picture of downtown up next to my bedroom door that I got in NY. Now everytime I walk out I look at it and say, "One step closer to my dream." :) :) :)

congrats...

NewYorkYankee
February 15th, 2005, 09:20 PM
What should I do for summer and winter breaks? I dont ever plan to live in TN anymore. I know weve talked about that Columbia summer housing, but thats only for students with internships. Can I get an Internship during the summer after my freshman year? If I dont get a room there though, what other options do I have? :-\

Schadenfrau
February 16th, 2005, 12:12 PM
You can always find a sublet and a job for the summer. That's what I did in between years. Winter break is generally less than a month, so it's best spent visiting family or friends.

NewYorkYankee
February 16th, 2005, 02:33 PM
Im sorry, what is a sublet? How hard is it to find one just for the summer? What are the price ranges? Where are you from? (If i may ask)

Schadenfrau
February 16th, 2005, 02:44 PM
I'm originally from Washington state.

A sublet is an apartment that you rent from the leaseholder for a brief amount of time.

You could also find a share for the summer. A search of Craigslist will give you an idea of the price range.

NewYorkYankee
February 16th, 2005, 02:54 PM
Oh ok, thank you for your replies, you are very helpful.

Zouzzi
February 27th, 2005, 08:52 PM
HEY .. congrats. ... just being reading thru this thread.. U've done well .. I so wanna live in NYC.. but not sure how I will handle winter.. You will love NYC to death.. I will be going back in August cant wait..


have fun ..

mwah

NewYorkYankee
May 19th, 2005, 10:43 PM
Well everyone, I will be boooking my fourth trip to New York this weekend. The other day I recieved my orientation packet from Pace in the mail. Its a two day thing in July. We plan to stay for 4 days though. We're flying in so Ill ask questions about that stuff later :) Everything is going good, today was my last day of high school. May is over, June, July, end of Aug I move to NY! I can hardly wait!

NewYorkYankee
July 24th, 2005, 05:15 PM
I just got back from orientation. I had a great time! I met a ton of new people and made some very good friends. Im excited to come back and see everyone again! I signed up for a NYC history class, so maybe Ill be able to converse more in the threads with you all. Of course, everyone could pick out my southern accent. But, Im hoping Ill lose it ASAP. Just like the city, the college was diverse, I loved that about it. I cant wait until these next 5 weeks are up and I can say "I live in New York."