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View Full Version : Why do my parents try to make NYC sound like sh*t???



ironmike9110
May 6th, 2006, 01:51 PM
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Clyde
May 6th, 2006, 03:04 PM
Am I the only one who thinks NYC is depressing? I mean, I was born and raised here, but I think people overrate it as a living experience.

Back on-topic, where do you live now/what school would you be applying to?

ablarc
May 6th, 2006, 03:19 PM
Clyde, from reading your posts, I'd say you were a really bummed-out individual. Instead of discouraging and disparaging others, I suggest you try to get some help for yourself.

Clyde
May 6th, 2006, 03:35 PM
Clyde, from reading your posts, I'd say you were a really bummed-out individual. Instead of discouraging and disparaging others, I suggest you try to get some help for yourself.

I wasn't trying to discourage, I was just wondering if people on this board felt the same way at all, because I know people who do. But I doubt too many on this board would agree, since I notice most of the posters here have alot of love for NYC. Don't get me wrong, I love NYC, but I find it odd how people dream of getting out, while others dream of coming in.

lofter1
May 6th, 2006, 04:02 PM
Nothing unnatural at all about wanting to get away from where you grew up.

I love NYC, but also find it depressing at times.

And all of these words you've used can describe NYC:

... good ... crowded ... fun ... bad ... trashy ... DANGEROUS ... exciting ...

One fact of life: If you're going to let the parents' purse strings be the control then you might not do the things you want to do -- or should do -- with your life ...

Sometimes you just have to take a big leap.

Scruffy88
May 6th, 2006, 05:56 PM
I grew up in NYC suburbs and dreamed of moving to the city itself. Also with the same resistance from parents and family and the same objections. Having now lived in the city for 4 years I can say that I have encountered non of those negatives. But will add a major negative of my own that haunts my daily life. EXPENSIVE

ironmike9110
May 6th, 2006, 06:07 PM
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krulltime
May 6th, 2006, 07:09 PM
I wasn't trying to discourage, I was just wondering if people on this board felt the same way at all, because I know people who do. But I doubt too many on this board would agree, since I notice most of the posters here have alot of love for NYC. Don't get me wrong, I love NYC, but I find it odd how people dream of getting out, while others dream of coming in.


Most people in the USA dream about living in NYC or near it...


California and New York City Most Popular Places People Would Choose to Live, According to Harris Poll on States and Cities in the U.S.


August 11, 2005

Maybe it is the sandy beaches or perhaps the warm weather, but California, Florida and Hawaii are respectively the #1, #2, and #3 states that U.S. adults would choose to live in if they could live in any state in the country.

And when it comes to Americans’ choices for cities, while the West may again be overrepresented, the ‘Big Apple’, New York City, comes in #1 for the sixth consecutive time as the U.S. city people would choose to live in or near.

These are some of the results of a nationwide Harris Poll of 2,339 U.S. adults conducted online by Harris Interactive® between July 12 and 18, 2005.

The next most popular states in which people would like to live are Colorado (#4), New York (#5), Arizona (#6), Oregon (#7), Texas (#8), North Carolina (#9), and Tennessee (#10). Since Harris Interactive last asked this question in 2003, there has been surprisingly little change in the top 15 states. Oregon moves from #11 to #7, Virginia drops from #9 to #12 and Tennessee re-enters the top 15 after falling out of the top tier in 2003.

One interesting thing to note is that eight of the 15 states are in the West and six of them are in the South. New York is the anomaly, representing the mid-Atlantic region, and there are no states from the Midwest or Northeast in the top 15.

Favorite U.S. cities to live in

Following New York City’s lead as a top U.S. city people would choose to live in or near, the next four cities are all in the West – San Diego (#2), Las Vegas (#3), San Francisco (#4) and Seattle (#5). The Midwest makes the list with Chicago at #6 and rounding out the top 10 are Denver (#7), Honolulu (#8), Atlanta (#9) and Portland, Oregon (#10).

Returning to the list of the 15 top cities this year are San Antonio at #14 and Nashville at #15. Nashville has not been in the top 15 since 2000. Interestingly, since Harris Interactive last asked the question in 2003, the cities from Florida that were on the top 15 list (Orlando, Tampa and Miami) have all dropped off, perhaps related to the 2004 devastation that occurred in Florida as a result of hurricane Ivan.


http://www.harrisinteractive.com/harris_poll/index.asp?PID=593 (There are charts in here)

Jared543
May 7th, 2006, 12:00 AM
I think its different for people who dont live in NYC. Its like theres the world then NY, the experience and energy of the place is astounding for tourist and thats why it would be a great place to live, but in time everythings just old news right.

krulltime
May 7th, 2006, 01:36 AM
^ Why don't we find out what the real New Yorkers really think of the city...


In record numbers, city's residents say they `love' New York


BY KIRSTEN SCHARNBERG
Chicago Tribune
Mon, Dec. 26, 2005

NEW YORK - Everyone has seen them: the "I heart NY" T-shirts that tourists buy on their first visit to the Statue of Liberty or Times Square or the Empire State Building.

It turns out that New Yorkers themselves should be wearing the upbeat - if uncharacteristically unstylish - apparel.

A long-running poll that gauges New Yorkers' attitudes toward their frenetic, often maddening metropolis recently found that 61 percent "love" their hometown, the highest percentage in poll history. "This is an honest-to-God love affair, not just a casual affection," said Maurice Carroll, director of the Quinnipiac University Polling Institute in Connecticut, which has conducted the poll since 1994.

Just four years after the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center, when many predicted that hundreds of thousands of residents would flee New York and that those who stayed would never feel quite the same about a place now universally seen as a terrorism target, the poll found that just the opposite has occurred.

In addition to the 61 percent who say they love the Big Apple, another 22 percent say they "like" New York. Fifteen percent have mixed feelings, and only 2 percent describe their feelings toward the city as "dislike" or "hate."

"Why doesn't that 1 percent of haters just move back to Boston?" Carroll quipped.

The numbers have not always been so rosy for New York.

In 1999, just 46 percent of residents said they loved their city. Even more stark: When asked in 1994 how satisfied they were with "the way things are going in New York City today," just 3 percent said they were "very satisfied." That number in the latest poll is 19 percent, with another 56 percent saying they are "somewhat satisfied."

New York has long been a place that some outsiders love to hate. The people are too rude, they say. The pace is too hectic. The prices are too out of control.

Indeed, there have been years when even the most devoted residents of America's largest city had a hard time disagreeing with some criticisms - in the 1970s when the city almost went bankrupt, in the 1980s when crime was sky high and in the 1990s when the cost of living soared. In fact, at the turn of the millennium, the average cost for a home in Manhattan topped $1 million.

But a stunningly successful 1977 advertising campaign - the launch of the "I heart NY" slogan - has proved to be a timeless refrain among even those New Yorkers who occasionally grow frustrated with the place they call home, who critique it and its leaders, who grumble about pollution and who put up with disruptions like last week's three-day transit system strike.

"Listen, New Yorkers are realists," said former New York Mayor Ed Koch, who was elected to the post the same year the advertising slogan was introduced. "They know New York is not the most architecturally beautiful - that's Paris. They know it's not even the most interesting - that's London. They know it's not the cleanest - that's probably Chicago. But what distinguishes us is the electricity of New York."

Yet electricity alone can't explain the numbers found in the latest Quinnipiac poll. Electricity might lead to lust - passionate, short-lived lust - but not the deep love that 61 percent of residents profess.

The breakdown in the numbers also reveals that feelings for New York spanned gender, ethnic and political boundaries. Fifty-seven percent of Republicans and 62 percent of Democrats said they loved the city. Sixty-one percent of whites, 55 percent of blacks and 66 percent of Hispanics felt the same. Fifty-seven percent of men said they loved New York, compared with 64 percent of women.

"What's interesting is that this is a cross section of people both ethnically and socioeconomically," said Stanley Renshon, a New York psychoanalyst and professor of political science at the City University of New York. "This is not just Donald Trump saying he loves New York. It's Mr. and Mrs. Jones. It's Mr. and Mrs. Gonzales. It's Mr. and Mrs. Ling."

So from a psychoanalyst's perspective, what about a place can make people feel so strongly for it that they describe their feelings with a word often reserved for only the most important things?

Sept. 11 certainly plays a part, Renshon said. They love a city that has endured, a city that has persevered.

And, paradoxically, the very difficulties associated with life in New York - the struggle of finding a cab during rush hour, the sharp-elbowed sidewalks, the constant racket from the streets when trying to sleep at night - make people love it, the doctor said.

"That whole `If you can make it here you can make it anywhere' song lyric," Renshon said. "They take pride in making it every day, and that makes them feel good not only about themselves but about the place."

But most of all: New York seems to be a city on the rise.

The weekly wage of workers in Manhattan rose 5.8 percent in the first quarter of 2005, according to the U.S. Department of Labor's Bureau of Labor Statistics. The city has had nearly a decade of declining crime rates, and the number of homicides has been more than halved since the early 1990s. Drug dealers and porn shops are no longer the staple fare of Times Square.

"This used to be a pretty rough town to live in," Renshon said. "It's no fun to worry that you can't get back to the bus stop after work without getting mugged. But people see how much safety has improved, how the economy is doing, how much the city has been cleaned up. They love a place that is clearly trying so hard to be better."

At a little street stand on Canal Street, in the heart of New York's teeming Chinatown, Mei Liu was selling the famous "I heart NY" T-shirts earlier this month. It was a cold day and she did not have many customers, but she folded and refolded her wares, making the display orderly and appealing.

"These are very nice shirts," said Liu, 36. "It is a very nice city. My life is better here than it was in China. My children's lives are better."

As Liu spoke, two taxi drivers nearly collided on the corner. One began screaming obscenities at the other. Liu just laughed.

"Most days, very nice city," she repeated.


2005 KRT Wire and wire service sources. All Rights Reserved.

antinimby
May 7th, 2006, 02:47 AM
Mike,

Tell your parents (better yet, show them the crime and murder statistics) that NY is a lot safer than Philly.

As for the people talking about getting depressed, that happens with everyone wherever they are. No matter how perfect the place they live in is, people will get bored with it. That is a signal that a vacation is badly needed.
I find that whenever I'm away from NY (school, travel, work) for a somewhat substantial amount of time (a week or more), I always miss the city and want to get back.

macreator
May 7th, 2006, 03:13 AM
The only time I feel depressed about New York is when I'm returning from vacation and it is a rainy day in the City.

I look out at the housing projects near the Triborough bridge in my cab back from the airport and wonder whether or not I could just pack up and move to some place sunny.

Then I get home, go to bed, and wake up and it is a sunny day and I'm back to loving NYC.

Here's a reason I'll never move to the 'burbs and would only consider moving to another major ubran metropolis: I love how I can get virtually any kind of cuisine I want for dinner. And really good and cheap too if I look hard enough.

You can't beat that.

Zerlina
May 7th, 2006, 06:39 AM
Well... I think that's only because of your young age!
NY is amazing, but it can be dangerous too... just like every big town in the word (especially if you come from a small one).
I think that your parents are worried because in NY you can find good and evil... but you should try to explain them that you have to choose!!! Don't give up to your dreams... and good luck!;)

rknarr
May 7th, 2006, 11:04 PM
Mike,

I'm experiencing the same thing. Going to a CC right now so i can afford to complete my bachelors at most likely St. John's and then still be able to afford my MBA from either SJU or NYU without owing 200k in student loans. Parents dont think I'm going to move to NY at the end of next summer but they will see!

MrSpice
May 8th, 2006, 04:13 PM
I only dislike 4 things about New York:
1) Cost - it's expensive
2) Weather (hot and humid in the summer and quite cold and windy in the winter)
3) Roads - most highways are quite bad, much worse than almost anywhere else in the US
4) Subway - it sucks in so many ways. But it gets us where we want to go.

I would advice this person to study really hard and apply to good New York schools and get a good education, preferably in finance. There's where jobs and money are in New York. And then, move here and try it out for himself. There's no iron curtain - you can always return back home.

ironmike9110
May 8th, 2006, 04:53 PM
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rknarr
May 9th, 2006, 02:46 AM
right now im a sports managment major but will be switching to a finance major with a minor in sports management then will go on for a MBA from either SJU or NYU

ironmike9110
May 9th, 2006, 08:40 AM
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ZippyTheChimp
May 9th, 2006, 08:58 AM
Where do you live now?

ZippyTheChimp
May 9th, 2006, 02:44 PM
Just down the pike.

We invest so much time urging children to grow up, but when it's time to let them go, we can't.

Tell your folks you're thinking about San Diego. You might hear, "But it's so far away."

Ninjahedge
May 9th, 2006, 02:53 PM
They are afraid of letting you too far out.

Also, they still have all the stereotypical images of NY, whether it be the place that has everything to offer (both good AND bad) or the 1970's crime infested swank grafitti laden den of thieves, your parents would want neither for you.

The only things I would warn you about in NYC is that it IS easy to do just about everything if you look hard enough, so you have to have a bit of self control, and the other is that it is easy to get distracted and blow your education because you are spending too much time hanging out by NYU, going to bars, or just plain NOT studying.

But that is similar to other schools as well.

Your parents are just afraid of letting you out of their sphere of influence, and instead of admitting that, or indeed even recognising it, they are laying the blame on NYC.

Try what Zip says and suggest SD, see what reaction that gets. There are also some pretty good areas in and about San Francisco and Boston (My Grad and Undergrad towns).

The key here is to see if you can get past your parents blame game and try to find out what is really bothering them. Do not try to refute individual statements about NY, even if you are right they are not addressing their real concern and will not change their minds.

GL!

BrooklynRider
May 9th, 2006, 04:17 PM
Tell your folks you're thinking about San Diego. You might hear, "But it's so far away."

That's very funny. I bet it will work!

shocka
May 10th, 2006, 12:29 AM
Am I the only one who thinks NYC is depressing? I mean, I was born and raised here, but I think people overrate it as a living experience.

Back on-topic, where do you live now/what school would you be applying to?

if it makes u happy i feel the same way.. but it depresses me that i have a great salary and still struggle to survive here.. if it wasnt for fam i prob would be elsewhere now.

back on topic.. how about takin a trip to NY w/ your parents?

Ninjahedge
May 10th, 2006, 08:56 AM
Friend of mine is living at the shore now. Very relaxed atmosphere.....

Just relax, do what we told you and see what happens. Also realize that NYC is a place with a lot of job opportunities, so the chance to live here is always readily available after school. Don't turn the conflict into a "NY or nothing" kind of thing.


GL!

NYatKNIGHT
May 10th, 2006, 03:31 PM
Why do my parents try to make NYC sound like sh*t???I have spoken to so many people who were taught what a terrible place New York is and they will never be convinced otherwise. Don't let it distract you.

antinimby
May 10th, 2006, 07:09 PM
if it makes u happy i feel the same way.. but it depresses me that i have a great salary and still struggle to survive here.. if it wasnt for fam i prob would be elsewhere now.shocka, don't take offense to this and I really mean this in the most light-hearted way, but why don't you leave NY? I know you mentioned here and elsewhere in other threads about your family but you won't be the first and certainly not the last to leave their relatives behind and move on to another city.

I really take issue to you disparaging the city and going on about how you're unhappy with this and that (and this goes for former NYer's running their mouths, too.) You should just move out and make room for those, like Mike, who really would like to be here.

Life is short, don't stay where you're not happy.

BrooklynRider
May 10th, 2006, 11:14 PM
Shocka & Ironmike-

Maybe you two ought to hook up and become roomies.

Ninjahedge
May 11th, 2006, 08:34 AM
Shocka & Ironmike-

Maybe you two ought to hook up and become roomies.

Sounds like a sitcom.... :O

ironmike9110
May 11th, 2006, 03:18 PM
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Ninjahedge
May 11th, 2006, 04:03 PM
sounds like its not happening... :O

Geez! What a party pooper! You could get Brad Pitt to play you and Dustin Hoffman to play Shocka....

Or, maybe Jennifer Anniston to play you and Angelina Jolie to play Shocka....


Mmmmmmmmmm........

ironmike9110
May 11th, 2006, 05:58 PM
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