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nyKim20
May 8th, 2006, 03:56 PM
Hey guys,
My names Kim. I'm looking to move to NY for maybe a year in a year or two and I need some help. Are there such a thing as an apartment with actual BEDROOMS for rent for under $1300?? I'm dying to find something reasonable to talk my boyfriend into moving there with me and my four month old son who will probably be around 1 1/2 years old by then.

Also, JOBS.
I'll be graduating Gibbs college in January 07 and we'll probably be moving after that...but I definetly need a job lined up for each of us BEFORE we move out there...is this at all possible?? Even if its a job at MACYS or some other retail store for a little while...I guess I'm just asking for some well needed help, because if I'm going to do this I'm going to start planning now.

THANKS for any answers ahead of time.:D

MrSpice
May 8th, 2006, 04:09 PM
You can certainly find a 1-br apartment for 1300 or less in some areas of Brooklyn and Queens, but not in Manhattan. Since you are going to have a small child, you need to think about good kindergardens and pre-school and do soem reasearch there. I doubt you will find a good job with no experience. I assume your boyfriend have some kind of job/career so he can support you and your baby at least partially. Doesn't he have a profession? I would think that he - considering that you have a small child - would have the main earning potential. I would also think that you want to make sure he becomes your husband before you embark on this adventure. As far as know Gibbs is hardly a prestigious school and you did not even mention your major. So, some experience may help you get a job here.

nyKim20
May 8th, 2006, 04:38 PM
Okay.
I didn't say I had no experience. Why did I sense through reading your whole responce that you were more demeaning me then advising me? haha.
I work at a medical supply company. I also have experience in retail and customer service. And yes, my boyfriend does have a profession... he's in construction. My boyfriend & I are equal... he shouldnt have to obtain 75% of the income while I earn 25...thats not how it works. I didnt anywhere in my post state that I had no experience, that my boyfriend didnt support us, or that he didnt have a profession...all I was looking for was good places to look for a job, and help finding some lower priced apartments.

But thanks.

MrSpice
May 8th, 2006, 04:50 PM
Then in order to get an answer to your question, you should mention it. Then it's easier for me and others to help you with an advice. I was not demeaning at all. Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.

I am not questioning the equality of the 2 of you. But caring for a small baby takes time and effort and usually the young mother is the one who needs to spend more time with the kid (that's what I observed and that's how it usually works). Assuming you have no close relatives here in NYC that can help you care for the baby, I would think you cannot work crazy hours when you have a small child waiting for you at home. And some jobs in the retail business require those kinds of hours (Macy's on Herald Square, for example, can be opened until 11pm on some holidays). Obviously, it's up to you. But when my wife has a baby, I would like to do what I can to alliviate her schedule so she can spend some time caring for the child. Baby sitters and kindergardens are very expensive in this city, especially in Manhattan (up to 20K per year for full day care).

The best places to look for jobs in New York are, in my opinion:
1) New York Times sunday edition and New York times web site
2) Monster.com
3) Career fairs
4) Your schools career office and alumni connections

Construction is a very profitable industry in New York as something always gets built/constructed/reconstructed in this booming city.

nyKim20
May 8th, 2006, 04:53 PM
Well thank you, then:)
I'll try that. I want to get in contact with some employers to see thier rates and all of that. I figured construction would be a good field to be in in new york.

Schadenfrau
May 8th, 2006, 05:51 PM
Where do you live now, NYKim?

MrSpice, that last post of yours was maybe the most judgemental yet. It's really none of your business what this woman plans to do in regard to marriage or division of labor.

MrSpice
May 8th, 2006, 06:12 PM
Where do you live now, NYKim?

MrSpice, that last post of yours was maybe the most judgemental yet. It's really none of your business what this woman plans to do in regard to marriage or division of labor.

So you think you can make a judgement what I can and cannot say, and I cannot opine on other matters? I think what I said was relevant to her question.

Schadenfrau
May 8th, 2006, 07:33 PM
No one is telling you what you can and can't say, but it's positively absurd that you went on a tirade about how this woman's boyfriend should be her husband, and he should be the primary wage-earner, and she should stay home and take care of her child, and oh yeah, Gibbs isn't that great of a school.

Seriously, feel free to opine about whatever you want, but unless you want to sound like a madman, you might want to keep it on topic. Call me crazy, but I don't think NYKim was asking for a magic spell that would bring the values of either Saudi Arabia or 1952 into her life.

ryan
May 8th, 2006, 09:06 PM
Why did I sense through reading your whole responce that you were more demeaning me then advising me?

Welcome, Kim. I hope you post often and continue to live in the 21st century. I hope you'll find more than knee-jerk sexism next time you ask a question. (congrats on the kid, btw)

Mr. Spice is right about doing some research to find a good area to live that's cheap and has good schools. I'd suggest you start in Queens, but I don't know anyone with kids in nyc, so I can't be more specific. I'd also suggest you look to craigslist for work - I know it's annoying, but it's how most people I know get their jobs. You'll find lots of retail work in nyc - I see signs all the time. If you have any connections with former (or current, dunno) employers at national chains, it of course couldn't hurt.

Schadenfrau
May 8th, 2006, 09:13 PM
I don't think it's even unreasonable to assume that you could find solid administrative work in NYC with a degree from Gibbs. However, most employers would expect you to be available for an in-person interview, which is why I'm curious as to where you're living now, NYKim.

Ryan's suggestion of Queens is a good one. You'd be able to afford a very nice 1-bedroom for $1,300 there; perhaps even a two-bedroom in one of the outer neighborhoods. In 2000, I lived in a very nice two-bedroom in Sunnyside, Queens, and we paid just under $1,000 total. I'm not sure if those deals are still around, though.

nyKim20
May 8th, 2006, 09:40 PM
Where do you live now, NYKim?


I live in Rhode Island...about a 3-4 hour drive depending on traffic, time of day, week, and even season...I come to NY on average twice a year and when I'm there I feel like it's where I belong, ya know? Everyone tells me thats been with me that they've never seen me look happier in thier lives. It's crazy..NY just has that effect on me. =)

In regards to the other things you've said so I dont have to post 43 times, lol, hopefully you're right and I can find these things. A coworker of mine lived in Queens for three years and she said it was fantastic. I may look into that. Schools are really important, so I do have to take that into consideration when I'm looking.

Thank you for defending me somewhat to mr whatever his name is, cant remember...lol. He kinda upset me by the things he said. I thought maybe I was overreacting but to see that you agree with me was nice, haha. I felt kinda offended after I read what he wrote. So, thanks. :D

nyKim20
May 8th, 2006, 09:45 PM
Welcome, Kim. I hope you post often and continue to live in the 21st century. I hope you'll find more than knee-jerk sexism next time you ask a question. (congrats on the kid, btw)

Thanks for the congrats! =)
Yeah I was kinda drawn back from this forum when I got his reply...first reply and it was negative. haha. i was like aww man its one of them. haha. but I think I'll stick around =) Thanks for the advice. :D

krulltime
May 8th, 2006, 10:07 PM
Hey nyKim20... This is a good read to let you know what jobs are going to be hot in the coming years. :)


NYC could face high shortage of workers: report


by Tom Fredrickson
May 04, 2006

Because of retiring baby boomers, New York City faces a significant shortage of workers in more than a half dozen industries in coming years, according to a new study.

The shortages will begin in the next few years and could extend for two decades, says the report, Chance of a Lifetime, issued by the Center for an Urban Future.

Health care, construction, automotive maintenance, commercial driving, science & technology, aviation and manufacturing are the leading industries facing the most acute shortages, according to the survey.

As of 2000, nearly three of 10 registered nurses in New York City were 50 or over, and for licensed practical nurses, the figure was about one in three. The health care sector is expected to generate 20,000 new job openings through 2012.

The departing baby boomers are vacating many jobs that pay relatively high wages. For example, more than 1,000 openings per year through 2012 are expected for auto mechanics, a job that pays as much as $80,000 per year.

On the upside, the projected openings represent an unprecedented opportunity to get the 150,000 to 250,000 16-to-24-year-olds who are neither working nor in school into the work force, the report says.

The center called for creating and strengthening public, community and business initiatives aimed at preparing young people for jobs.


2006 Crain Communications Inc.

MrSpice
May 9th, 2006, 12:07 AM
No one is telling you what you can and can't say, but it's positively absurd that you went on a tirade about how this woman's boyfriend should be her husband, and he should be the primary wage-earner, and she should stay home and take care of her child, and oh yeah, Gibbs isn't that great of a school.

Seriously, feel free to opine about whatever you want, but unless you want to sound like a madman, you might want to keep it on topic. Call me crazy, but I don't think NYKim was asking for a magic spell that would bring the values of either Saudi Arabia or 1952 into her life.

Small child, the guy is not a husband, she wants to move to New York hoping to get a job, he does not want... Recepe for disaster :) Sauidi Arabia is a nice place - no militant feminists there :)

lofter1
May 9th, 2006, 12:34 AM
So, Spice, from that remark ^ can we infer you prefer a dead feminist to one who is live and kicking?

nyKim20
May 9th, 2006, 11:01 AM
Small child, the guy is not a husband, she wants to move to New York hoping to get a job, he does not want... Recepe for disaster :) Sauidi Arabia is a nice place - no militant feminists there :)

Wow, you can really stop commenting on my post now, thank you.

Who cares if I'm not married, some people dont want to get married. and I didnt say he DIDNT WANT to move, I just said I would have to discuss with him to persude him NY is the right place.

Please go away. THANKS.:)

MrSpice
May 9th, 2006, 11:08 AM
Wow, you can really stop commenting on my post now, thank you.

Who cares if I'm not married, some people dont want to get married. and I didnt say he DIDNT WANT to move, I just said I would have to discuss with him to persude him NY is the right place.

Please go away. THANKS.:)

Ok. I am convinced that I should stop commenting. But one question remains: is it your bf's baby? If it is, why did he marry you? Or is it considered old-fashioned to marry the mother of your child nowadays? :) Aren't you afraid to lose him in this huge city full of beautiful, independent and available women?

Anyway, tell him that New York City is the capital of the world and that's the place for all of you to be. Your baby will grow up to be a real New Yorker - like me :)

nyKim20
May 9th, 2006, 11:28 AM
Ok. I am convinced that I should stop commenting. But one question remains: is it your bf's baby? If it is, why did he marry you? Or is it considered old-fashioned to marry the mother of your child nowadays? :) Aren't you afraid to lose him in this huge city full of beautiful, independent and available women?

Anyway, tell him that New York City is the capital of the world and that's the place for all of you to be. Your baby will grow up to be a real New Yorker - like me :)

lol are you that bored with your life that you sit on line critisizing other peoples lives? Yes it is my boyfriends baby but if it wasn't what concern is that of yours? A child isnt the reason to get married, BEING READY to get married is the reason to get married..they're two entirely different things. You, my friend, need to get your head out of your ass. No, I'm not afraid to lose him, and I thought independence wasn't key here, I thought the man was supposed to be the main provider for the woman and family, that is by no means independent if he's the one bringing in all the finances.

Thank you for your close minded, shallow views on life. I've enjoyed laughing at you while reading them. People like you are the only thing that makes me NOT want to move to NY.

krulltime
May 9th, 2006, 11:37 AM
Ok. I am convinced that I should stop commenting. But one question remains: is it your bf's baby? If it is, why did he marry you? Or is it considered old-fashioned to marry the mother of your child nowadays? :) Aren't you afraid to lose him in this huge city full of beautiful, independent and available women?

Anyway, tell him that New York City is the capital of the world and that's the place for all of you to be. Your baby will grow up to be a real New Yorker - like me :)


Wow.. MrSpice... you better stop commenting... you are totally out of line. I just don't understand why you are attacking this woman. It is up to her and her family what they choose out of life not yours. You sound like a preacher.

She was just asking a question about rents, not opinions about how she should live her life.

MrSpice
May 9th, 2006, 11:57 AM
Wow.. MrSpice... you better stop commenting... you are totally out of line. I just don't understand why you are attacking this woman. It is up to her and her family what they choose out of life not yours. You sound like a preacher.

She was just asking a question about rents, not opinions about how she should live her life.

I was not attacking her, I was asking curious to know how she feels about the situation. And she is being so defensive in her answer because somewhere deep inside she understand that this is not an ideal situation to be unmarried with a little baby on your hands. There's a reason why people marry and why it's especially important to women - it gives them some sense of security (I am married myself, and I know). In any case, she can do as she pleases. Why can't I ask about something I am curious about without being accused of attacking someone?

Schadenfrau
May 9th, 2006, 12:04 PM
Great, I've been waiting for a thread where we can ask the questions we've been curious about.

MrSpice: how much did your wife cost and how long did it take to ship her over here?

nyKim20
May 9th, 2006, 12:11 PM
I was not attacking her, I was asking curious to know how she feels about the situation. And she is being so defensive in her answer because somewhere deep inside she understand that this is not an ideal situation to be unmarried with a little baby on your hands. There's a reason why people marry and why it's especially important to women - it gives them some sense of security (I am married myself, and I know). In any case, she can do as she pleases. Why can't I ask about something I am curious about without being accused of attacking someone?

I'm not being defensive. I'm telling you the facts. Dont try to assume what i know "deep inside"...you must have a terribly boring life. How old are you, 12? You certainly have a 12 year olds attitude. My situation is AMAZING. I dont need a certificate to proclaim my love for my boyfriend, it doesnt change anything. Your feelings dont change because someone deems you married. You're an idiot. Please leave.

MrSpice
May 9th, 2006, 12:12 PM
MrSpice: how much did your wife cost and how long did it take to ship her over here?

I was sust like in those MasterCard commercials - priceless :)

But seriously, she was shipped by UPS by next day service. I don't know where she's from - she never told me.

Schadenfrau
May 9th, 2006, 12:21 PM
When did you stop hitting her?

MrSpice
May 9th, 2006, 12:29 PM
I dont need a certificate to proclaim my love for my boyfriend, it doesnt change anything. Your feelings dont change because someone deems you married.

If it does not change anything then why 90% of people eventually get married? And if that certificate does not change anything, why not have it? After all, it costs little and it's easy to get (takes just a couple of hours)?
People get married not because they need a certificate to "prove their love". Marriage is also a legal arrangement that has certain legal and tax benefits, especially for couples with children. It's like saying: "I am renting an apartment, but I don't need a lease. After all, my landlord likes me and everything seems OK."

Good article for you: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage/about/factsheets_hm_matters.html

MrSpice
May 9th, 2006, 12:30 PM
When did you stop hitting her?

I would never hit a women, and especially the one I love. Is that your experience with relationships with men? I am sorry to hear that.

nyKim20
May 9th, 2006, 12:33 PM
If it does not change anything then why 90% of people eventually get married? And if that certificate does not change anything, why not have it? After all, it costs little and it's easy to get (takes just a couple of hours)?
People get married not because they need a certificate to "prove their love". Marriage is also a legal arrangement that has certain legal and tax benefits, especially for couples with children. It's like saying: "I am renting an apartment, but I don't need a lease. After all, my landlord likes me and everything seems OK."

Good article for you: http://www.family.org/cforum/fosi/marriage/facts/a0028317.cfm

You are ridiculous. Are you catholic? You must be.
That would explain evvvvvvvverything.
Thank you for your old school, outdated views on life, they've been extreamly entertaining.
Have you ever heard of minding your business and respecting other peoples views on life?

Anyway,
Why did you chose to attack me? What did I do to you to make you sit here and attack my views over and over? Please get a god damn life, you're pathetic.

nyKim20
May 9th, 2006, 12:34 PM
I would never hit a women, and especially the one I love. Is that your experience with relationships with men? I am sorry to hear that.

AND IF IT WERE?
Would you insult because someones been abused by a man?

I really, really hope not.

MrSpice
May 9th, 2006, 12:41 PM
AND IF IT WERE?
Would you insult because someones been abused by a man?

I really, really hope not.

Of course not. Abuse is a tragedy and should be punished severely. It's very sad that in some families kids get abused. I am glad it did not happen in my family and would hope that no child is ever abused.

And by the way, I am not religious at all. I don't even care about marriage from religious point of view. And I think that if you don't have a baby and you're below 27-28, you may not have any reason to get married and it may make a lot of sense to figure out who you want to be with for the rest of your life since mistakes in this matter are very costly - both emotionally and financially. But once you have a child, it changes everything. Child needs to have a father and once you decide to have a child - in my opinion - you basically decide that this man is the one I want to be with for many years.

That's just my personal opinion. I find it an interesting issue to discuss and you're wrong in being so defensive and looking at what I say as some kind of attack. And by the way, you did not even have to reply to anything. We all live in a free country and can do what we please - that's what's so great about USA...

You are talking about me "attacking your views". Where did I attack anything? Is any discussion about the benefits of marriage an attack? Don't be ridiculous. You have a very thin skin. Get over it.

krulltime
May 9th, 2006, 12:45 PM
If it does not change anything then why 90% of people eventually get married? And if that certificate does not change anything, why not have it? After all, it costs little and it's easy to get (takes just a couple of hours)?
People get married not because they need a certificate to "prove their love". Marriage is also a legal arrangement that has certain legal and tax benefits, especially for couples with children. It's like saying: "I am renting an apartment, but I don't need a lease. After all, my landlord likes me and everything seems OK."

Good article for you: http://www.family.org/cforum/fosi/marriage/facts/a0028317.cfm

Ewww... that looks like a very conservative website... I feel horrible by entering in there... which I think that is what you must be 'a conservative.' Good luck believing in that stuff... but please stop preaching to others about your beliefs.

ryan
May 9th, 2006, 12:47 PM
Your baby will grow up to be a real New Yorker - like me :)

Wow. I can't tell what's more disgusting - the narcissism it took to assume this woman's child should grow up to be like you - or that your worldview somehow represents New York. You sound a lot more South Dakota than New York to me.

Nice focus on the family link btw - that'll do wonders for your credibility.

MrSpice
May 9th, 2006, 12:48 PM
Ewww... that looks like a very conservative website... I feel horrible by entering in there... which I think that is what you must be 'a conservative.' Good luck believing in that stuff... but please stop preaching to others about your beliefs.

Forget about this web site. It's possible that it's run by a bunch of conservative loons :) But isn't it a good idea for someone with a little child to be married - in general? Let's forget about this particular situation. Am I out of my mind in thinking that when you have a little baby, being married to his father is an additional protection and a level of security for the women/mother? I just don't see why it's an old-fashined view - it's a logical view.

ryan
May 9th, 2006, 12:50 PM
You are talking about me "attacking your views". Where did I attack anything? Is any discussion about the benefits of marriage an attack? Don't be ridiculous. You have a very thin skin. Get over it.

You seem to need some feedback about your communication skills. Yes, you are indeed attacking Kim. She posted asking advice about where to live and how to get work. She didn't ask for anyone's opinion about her marital status.

MrSpice
May 9th, 2006, 12:51 PM
Wow. I can't tell what's more disgusting - the narcissism it took to assume this woman's child should grow up to be like you - or that your worldview somehow represents New York. You sound a lot more South Dakota than New York to me.

Nice focus on the family link btw - that'll do wonders for your credibility.

I was joking, by the way. I don't want her child to grow up to be like me. After all, I studied too hard, worked too much, partied less than I should have and that area I live in (Uppe East Side) will be way too boring for the new generation.

krulltime
May 9th, 2006, 12:53 PM
MrSpice... Please create a thread in 'Anything Goes Section' about your beliefs... http://www.wirednewyork.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=35

And stop hijacking threads like this ones.

ryan
May 9th, 2006, 12:55 PM
I was joking, by the way. I don't want her child to grow up to be like me. After all, I studied too hard, worked too much, partied less than I should have and that area I live in (Uppe East Side) will be way too boring for the new generation.

Another joke? Stop it, you're killing me. Congrats for living on the Upper East Side - and for being so great in general. Should we bow?

nyKim20
May 9th, 2006, 12:55 PM
And by the way, I am not religious at all. I don't even care about marriage from religious point of view. And I think that if you don't have a baby and you're below 27-28, you may not have any reason to get married and it may make a lot of sense to figure out who you want to be with for the rest of your life since mistakes in this matter are very costly - both emotionally and financially. But once you have a child, it changes everything. Child needs to have a father and once you decide to have a child - in my opinion - you basically decide that this man is the one I want to be with for many years.

That's just my personal opinion. I find it an interesting issue to discuss and you're wrong in being so defensive and looking at what I say as some kind of attack. And by the way, you did not even have to reply to anything. We all live in a free country and can do what we please - that's what's so great about USA...

You are talking about me "attacking your views". Where did I attack anything? Is any discussion about the benefits of marriage an attack? Don't be ridiculous. You have a very thin skin. Get over it.

You're right..it is interesting to discuss, but it's not interesting to insult, put down, or deamean anyone elses opinions or views, and thats what you've been doing this entire time.

My child DOES have a father, that doesnt mean he has to be my husband. We're happy where we are right now. He is who I want to be with "for many years" that doesnt mean I want to get married right this minute. I have no problem discussing things like that, but I do have a problem when I feel someone is talking down to me or judging me...you have no right.

lofter1
May 9th, 2006, 07:02 PM
nyKim20: Welcome to wirednewyork!

And my hat is off to you for holding your ground ;)

You sound to me like an incredibly sensible, strong & curious person -- traits that will do you well when you make the (seemingly inevitable) move to NYC.

BrooklynRider
May 9th, 2006, 11:20 PM
Great, I've been waiting for a thread where we can ask the questions we've been curious about.

MrSpice: how much did your wife cost and how long did it take to ship her over here?

LMFAO

BrooklynRider
May 9th, 2006, 11:24 PM
I was sust like in those MasterCard commercials - priceless :)

But seriously, she was shipped by UPS by next day service. I don't know where she's from - she never told me.

Probably because she's used and wanted you to think the fingerprints on her were yours.