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Thread: Dating Scene in NYC

  1. #1

    Question plz explain me the dating scene in NYC

    Hi girls and guys
    i have been lurking for a while, living in NY since few months.

    I have been told so many things about how the dating scene here works, that if i had heard from Carrie of the Sex&theCity i would have never believed...

    so...it seems to me that everything is working according to stiff schemes, the first date, the second date, before the third you are not supposed/allowed to do certain things, and then the 'exclusivity' that you ask your partner...
    "are you dating some else at the same time? do we go exclusive?"
    what the hell does that mean? that everyone goes out with 4 different boys/girls every week?
    and do the guys pay every single time for every date????
    i met girls that do not even make the move to pay, some of them say "thanks for the evening" some not even say that.
    And another issue i heard, is that so many girls complain about the city: their argument is that in this city there are so many girls, that for the guys is very difficult not to be distracted and they are going always to find some prettier girl....this sounds shocking to me: isn't exactly the same in every big big city in the world?
    expain me something about the multiple dating: do the girls go out with several guys, and they kiss all of them? so let's say a girl kiss 3/4 guys a week? does this make the difference with random sexual hookup? before coming here i had heard that random hookup were quite common here, but nothing like this happened to me, i had always to invite the girl to a dinner and then we started a relation. But there is such a loooooong gap between the first and second date! you almost forget about each other, and every time you have to start again... on the one side seems so easy, because when you finish a relation with a girl/guy, you can meet some else the same nigth, but it is like a written code: first date you kiss each other, the second date you behave according the rule of the second date, and then the third date you can have sex. SO WEIRD!!! BUT you do not know if you are the only one!!!

    could some plz give me some clarification on the issue?
    thanks
    Last edited by Punzie; July 6th, 2007 at 04:34 AM. Reason: Changed thread title; kept post title.

  2. #2

    Default

    Welcome to this site. You may get more specific advice if you give your gender, your age range, and a description of how dating was in the place where you grew up. You're not obligated to give this information, but without it, people will be talking about dating in general terms.

    It's my opinion that Sex in the City did harm to the NYC dating scene. (And it's aired here in syndication, so it continues to do damage.) Dating here is generally not at all like how it is in the TV show.

  3. #3

    Default

    thanks

    i am guy, range 30-35. The main difference with the place where i grew up....
    i would say is that there - although is more difficult to meet girls and start to talk with them - there are not such "rules". My question is just to understand if it is true what i have been told by several girls here in NY: that you 'know', you both know what is allowed to be done at each date....
    AH! i forgot: a girl told me that also a short meeting for a coffee, even half an hour, or going out to a movie where you can't even talk, counts as a date, so it is a step ahead for that date were you are allowed to have sex.
    Here i would say is much easier to kiss each other and make out, but it doesn't mean that you end up together in bed. In my country i would say is the opposite: you do not kiss so easily, but once you do is very likely (at this age i mean) that you start to have something more serious. Here it seems that you can kiss as many people as you want, and your partner is almos happy
    PS: what does aired "in syndication" mean? why do you think the show damaged the NYC dating scene? how was before?
    thanks

  4. #4

    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by lostinNYC View Post
    thanks

    i am guy, range 30-35. The main difference with the place where i grew up....

    thanks

    Goes something like this.

    Scenario A.

    You are rich or have a good job or come from a well off family. Girls will love you.

    Scenario B.

    You're handsome and very good looking and always have girls hitting on you. Girls will love you.

    If you answer yes to either one you're ok, if you answer no to both ...good luck dating in New York

  5. #5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Eugenious View Post
    Goes something like this.

    Scenario A.

    You are rich or have a good job or come from a well off family. Girls will love you.

    Scenario B.

    You're handsome and very good looking and always have girls hitting on you. Girls will love you.

    If you answer yes to either one you're ok, if you answer no to both ...good luck dating in New York
    Ok, would you then explain me the difference between NY and ANY OTHER city? what do you mean? that in NY you can date ONLY IF you are in Scen. A or B? people within A or B are successful in whatever city.
    But i don't see the point with my original questions.
    i am not rich, but not poor. I can't complain about my job. My family is not the Kennedy one, but we are not homeless. I am not the most handsome turning heads, but i am above average, not had girls always hitting on me, but have never had problems with girls

  6. #6

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lostinNYC View Post
    Ok, would you then explain me the difference between NY and ANY OTHER city? what do you mean? that in NY you can date ONLY IF you are in Scen. A or B? people within A or B are successful in whatever city.
    But i don't see the point with my original questions.
    i am not rich, but not poor. I can't complain about my job. My family is not the Kennedy one, but we are not homeless. I am not the most handsome turning heads, but i am above average, not had girls always hitting on me, but have never had problems with girls
    I think you should be fine, I was only generelizing but it's a good thing you are confident in yourself and I'm sure you will find the right girl.

    Oh and if I'm correct there are over 400,000 single females in the city, happy hunting.


  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lostinNYC View Post
    PS: what does aired "in syndication" mean?
    That's a shortened expression for: "The show's repeats are sold/leased to independent TV stations that air them." Sex and the City is on WPIX-TV (Channel 11) on weeknights, from 11-11:30pm.
    why do you think the show damaged the NYC dating scene? how was before?
    In the show, a girl rehashed her dates in detailed, graphic play-by-plays -- in front of a group of female friends. The friends extensively analyzed every part of the dates. The friends reviewed "rules" and advised the girl for future dates.

    In real life, many NYC girls (and girls living in other cities) started doing the same thing. But what's funny for a TV show is not funny in real life. Many real-life dates became drama episodes and the men were objectified. Many real-life situations that should have been left alone were analyzed to death. Many real-life girls felt peer pressure to conform to the "rules" dictated by their female friends.

    Before Sex and the City, girls generally rehashed dates on a one-on-one basis, (if at all), and it was more discreet. More girls made their own rules rather than followed a peer-pressure "consensus".

    Without no new shows in quite awhile, the popularity of the four single female TV characters and their actions is fading, but as I said, the show's reruns are in syndication.
    Last edited by Punzie; July 6th, 2007 at 08:27 PM. Reason: Corrected typos.

  8. #8
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    Personally, I don't date promiscuous girls. I am very traditional and tend to date girls who share my culture. I'm a man so it doesn't matter who the girl is, I lead the way. I make it interesting and I make it last.
    BUT.
    I have dated promiscuous girls in the past and they tend to be naughty. Yes, they see multiple guys at the same time and they go out alot. They are expensive and high maintenence. Dude, honestly, reading your posts make me think that you are from a homogenous country and that you're kinda on the innocent side (compared to American culture). But girls here are of every color, every race, and every ethnicity. You need to be able to click with all of them. You live here now, so act like it

  9. #9
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    Last edited by clubBR; July 8th, 2007 at 08:49 PM. Reason: added link to discussion on why nyers are so cocky

  10. #10

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    What you should know about NY singles? Have a short commute

    By New York Daily News | Local New York Thu, Sep 1, 2011

    Amanda P. Sidman, DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

    Bikers enjoy the ride along the East River (Maisel/NYDN)


    It may be the end of an era.
    New York's notorious single scene - for which we are almost as famous as we are for Derek Jeter and the occasional earthquake - may be coming to an end.
    But probably not too soon.
    In a new study by Match.com, released today, an overwhelming 94% of New York singles said they are ready to settle down and find love -- as long as is doesn't take too many transfers.
    While all 94% said they are willing to date outside of their borough, 71% specified that meant a 40 minute commute or less. And only 8% of Manhattanites said they would date someone in Staten Island.(that's just plain mean)
    Here, we must note that the ferry takes only 25 minutes. But, still.
    Forest Ave. bachelors and bachelorettes should start packing their bags immediately, if not sooner, and consider moving to Brooklyn or Manhattan, which were voted the most desirable boroughs to singles to date from.
    Match.com's diagram of interborough dating.

    And wait, there's more!
    Ladies reported that Firemen (30%) and Wall Street Executives (26%) were the sexiest New York professions for men, while the gentlemen found actresses (34%) and women that work in fashion (29%) to be hottest.
    So if any of you Brooklyn-based New York's Bravest can manage to find an actress living in Manhattan, take note that 44% of singles picked the West Village as a great date location, while 31% said they do not want to meet at a chain restaurant. But don't worry if the place is a bit too upscale, as 57% of New York women polled they are willing to split the bill on a first date.
    In conclusion, New Yorkers do want to settle down, split the bill at Waverly Inn, and put their single days behind them.
    As long as it's all a cab ride away.

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/new-york...201856718.html

    The people surveyed seem like they have their head in the clouds.

  11. #11
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    Nobody wants to go to Staten Island!

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