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Thread: Reasons people leave New York

  1. #1

    Default Reasons people leave New York

    This is going to sound odd, but I'm curious to hear New Yorkers answer this one: What reasons have friends/relatives had for hating the city or choosing to move away? I mean, besides job relocation, family obligations, etc.

    It's easy for young people like me to only think of the wonderful things NYC has to offer. What is the "con" side of living in the city? Not trying to be negative, just trying to thorough.

    Thanks to all who respond!

  2. #2
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    I'd say the lack of peace and quiet.

  3. #3

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    The cost, especially for housing, and it's correllary, the lack of space. The cost of everything else. The fact that things are easy, available, and cheap anywhere else, are a difficult, and expensive here.

    The intensity of the place. If you live in NYC, it's really hard to get away from the noise and the crowds without locking your self in you likely too small apartment (if then).

    The issues with raising kids in the city. The mostly substandard schools. The lack of playspace. The threats to their safety (both real and perceived). This is a big one. It's been something of a known cycle that post college singles move here to have fun and build a career, then move out to the 'burbs when they marry and decide to have kids.

  4. #4

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    "I moved to California for the beautiful weather and outdoor life. I thought that since I was near San Francisco and Berkeley, I wouldn't miss New York City too much. I was wrong."


  5. #5

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    Money, money, money. It's very expensive to live in NYC, and especially Manhattan. I know some people who still work in the city, but moved out to PA for cheaper houses and more space.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by BklynPenny View Post
    I know some people who still work in the city, but moved out to PA for cheaper houses and more space.
    Are you sure those are the only reasons?

  7. #7

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    Ha. Well I can't say for sure, but that's the impression I got whenever I talked to him.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by BklynPenny View Post
    Ha. Well I can't say for sure, but that's the impression I got whenever I talked to him.
    One of the reasons I've seen people move out from NYC is lack of standard of living similar to one that could be found in the suburbs or elsewhere in the US. NYC is very cramped, and unpleasant unless you are wealthy or upper class and can afford to live in a nice building or good neighborhood.

    Having people come from other states they always seem to refer to Brooklyn and most of the NYC as a whole as a "toilet" it's dirty and smelly. Which I can understand since it takes years of living here to get passed the dirt, the smell and the rude people. But once you get over that there's a charming atmosphere especially in brownstone Brooklyn and various parks and great architecture (if rundown a bit).

    SO I would say yes for a regular American suburban upper -middle class family NYC would be very much a step down unless they like living in tiny rooms and apts and have to deal with rude people and second guess everyone who tells you something that might make them a profit...

    Another thing, in NYC people are VERY distant and VERY abrasive. Everyone is locked into their own clique or their own type of group and that's that. Obviously there's contact between all kind of different people but it's mostly result of commerce and not a genuine like of people.

    God forbid you talk a random person on the train or start up a conversation with a stranger, in NYC you'll most likely get your ear chewed off and a demeaning stare.

    Yet such is life.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eugenious View Post
    lack of standard of living similar to one that could be found in the suburbs or elsewhere in the US.
    Another word for “standard of living” is “stuff.” You can’t have as much stuff in New York. (What would you do with a gas grill, anyway?) If you substitute “quality of life” for “standard of living,” New York has few peers.

    NYC is very cramped, and unpleasant unless you are wealthy or upper class and can afford to live in a nice building or good neighborhood.
    Cramped, yes. Unpleasant? Depends on your outlook.

    it takes years of living here to get passed the dirt, the smell and the rude people.
    I got past it on day one. Maybe I was overmotivated.

    (Btw, New Yorkers are much less rude than they used to be.)

    But once you get over that there's a charming atmosphere especially in brownstone Brooklyn and various parks and great architecture (if rundown a bit).
    Enough to sustain many for a lifetime.

    SO I would say yes for a regular American suburban upper -middle class family NYC would be very much a step down
    ...if they bring their values with them. (Excess baggage.)

    Another thing, in NYC people are VERY distant and VERY abrasive.
    Folks tend to mirror the attitude of those they’re dealing with. Are you perhaps distant and abrasive?

    there's contact between all kind of different people but it's mostly result of commerce and not a genuine like of people.
    Hogwash. I never found this to be true --even back when New Yorkers were rude.
    (Living in the South, I’m especially sensitive to this; here the courtesy often masks malice.)

    God forbid you talk a random person on the train or start up a conversation with a stranger
    Museums, parks and bars are the right places to strike up conversations. I’ve had wonderful and memorable barroom conversations in New York.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by ablarc View Post
    Another word for “standard of living” is “stuff.” You can’t have as much stuff in New York. (What would you do with a gas grill, anyway?) If you substitute “quality of life” for “standard of living,” New York has few peers.
    yes you cant have as much stuff, but you also cant have alot of stuff you NEEED like enough SPACE to live.

    Cramped, yes. Unpleasant? Depends on your outlook.
    Homeless people, feces in the subway on your way to work, crowded streets, pan handlers, disgusting street food that smells like dead pigeon meat, this is not unpleasant to you?

    I got past it on day one. Maybe I was overmotivated.
    I wonder where you lived...I bet it wasn't in the Bronx or Brooklyn or Queens. and I bet it wasn't in a "diverse" neighborhood.

    (Btw, New Yorkers are much less rude than they used to be.)
    This is debatable, people are plenty rude now.

    Folks tend to mirror the attitude of those they’re dealing with. Are you perhaps distant and abrasive?
    Lol, gee thanks pal! I am a very outgoing and optimistic person in real life and have many friends, but I have time and time again been astonished to what lengths people will go to be rude in this city! It's easier to not push someone where you are getting off just by saying excuse me!

    Hogwash. I never found this to be true --even back when New Yorkers were rude.
    (Living in the South, I’m especially sensitive to this; here the courtesy often masks malice.)
    SO there you go, courtesy is suspect now! Better everyone treat every one like they are not civilized people but a bunch of cattle? You must live quite a life if you don't encounter rudeness in NY on a regular basis.

    Museums, parks and bars are the right places to strike up conversations. I’ve had wonderful and memorable barroom conversations in New York.
    You should be able to strike up a conversation anywhere, but you are right it's easier in those places. People are always on their guard, and especially since 9/11 you get concerned stares from people who look like they are about to have a panic attack.

    Everyone has a different experience, but I am sure that majority of people in NY would agree with me that we need a little more civility, kindness, respect (and more trees and flowers to mask the everyday grinding monotony and ugliness) .

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  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eugenious View Post
    Another thing, in NYC people are VERY distant and VERY abrasive. Everyone is locked into their own clique or their own type of group and that's that. Obviously there's contact between all kind of different people but it's mostly result of commerce and not a genuine like of people.

    God forbid you talk a random person on the train or start up a conversation with a stranger, in NYC you'll most likely get your ear chewed off and a demeaning stare.
    I haven't found this to be particularly true. Not in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s... not now.

    Eugenius, you and I should get together some time. (I have a car, will drive.) I could pinpoint exactly why people treat you this way. Except for the one minute when I'd politely tell you the reason, you'd find my company most enjoyable. The ball's in your court.

  13. #13

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    ablarc,

    don't you live in north carolina? i'd be interested in hearing your answer to the OP.

  14. #14

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    ^ Chased skirt. Got shipwrecked. Easy living, weak competitors.

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rapunzel View Post
    I haven't found this to be particularly true. Not in the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s... not now.

    Eugenius, you and I should get together some time. (I have a car, will drive.) I could pinpoint exactly why people treat you this way. Except for the one minute when I'd politely tell you the reason, you'd find my company most enjoyable. The ball's in your court.
    If I need someone to point out my flaws to me I'll ask my girlfriend, not that I will do anything about it but it never hurts to ask :P

    seriously you have GOT to be kidding me everyone on this board thinks New Yorkers are nice?

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