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Thread: Humor/humour

  1. #1
    Senior Member Wobert Wedford's Avatar
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    Jun 2012
    Boulder at the moment

    Default Humor/humour

    There are some differences between American and British humour (apart from the spelling of the word!) but generally I think we appreciate each others comedy both in content, style, and those that deliver it.
    You had a one-liner in the form of Henry Youngman, we've got a chap over here Tim Vine who won the funniest joke award at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe this year, here are some examples of his work:

    ‘I decided to sell my Hoover, well it was just collecting dust.’

    ‘I went to the doctor’s. I said: “Whenever I pass from one country to another, I have to get drunk.” He said: “You’re a borderline alcoholic.” ‘

    ‘I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg. I said; “I bet I know what your favourite Christian festival is.” He said: “Have to love Easter, baby.” ‘

    ‘Exit signs? They’re on the way out!’

    ‘Velcro? What a rip-off!’

    ‘Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.’

    ‘I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.’

    ‘I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, 1, volume stuck on full.”
    I thought: “I can’t turn that down.”

    ‘ – that’s a site for sore eyes.’

    ‘I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper – dicing with death.’

    ‘So I rang up British Telecom and said: “I want to report a nuisance caller.” He said, “Not you again.” ‘

    ‘Albinos – you can’t say fairer than that.’

    ‘I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah and I thought: “He’s trying to pull a fast one.” ‘

    ‘A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits.’

    ‘I said to the gym instructor: “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He asked: “How flexible are you?” I said: “I can’t make Tuesdays.” ‘

    ‘I rang up my local swimming pool, I said; “Is that the local swimming pool?” He replied; “It depends where you’re coming from.” ‘

    Last edited by Wobert Wedford; August 22nd, 2014 at 01:53 PM.


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